GrumpyGuy - Profile

Yes, but not “only”. I mean that the statistics should represent and not the other way around. As you said the character has X amount of said attribute for the sake of example strength. He should not level up because he killed a goblin and leveled up then decided to spend points in str/int. The character fight with goblin, gained experience/insight from the fight and not from the “death of” and managed to improve his abilities because of that thus appear more experienced/higher level. The absurdity of the systems all authors use just frustrates the hell out of me.

Indeedcyou are right, I’ve stopped reading this novel after few more chapters.

The idea of the novel is not the one which I dislike. The implementation of a “system” is what’s terrible. Also the game-like vibes, computer games were developed to emulate our life with a bit of a magical twist, but organized so it would be easier to represent it via board or on the computer. If you are able to write it you should not go backwards and show a real life story as a computer-like view. A guy who is physically active is More developed in that field then one more stegnant than him. That’s the reason why combat classes in games are fitter then the academic arch-type of mages. so the game try to represent reality. In-game experience is how characters grow via events during their adventure. In our lives we also grow with experience, facing things make us understand them better and deeper the more we work with them. Now going backward on that and putting a leveling\stats based system on a story is meaningless and would require great deal of ability to tie it with the story to make it good and having any sense. Until now I haven’t read anything coming closer to that and my list of books and light novels should be impressive if I have counted them.

Poor Lith, from the pot into the fire.

What’s the chances he kill/enslave everyone after restoring his memory ?

This world is doomed ! :D

Welcome back from the land of the ... overfed. Happy new year everybody!

A rollercoaster indeed!

Reverse psychology ?

Wtf are talking about, *whips whistling* don’t give him funny ideas, he will write, snd if you try to make him slack off are going to join him on the working desk !

He should have great success in all those modern MOBA games and feel like home in their communities. “It’s my team’s fault” is basically mendatory mindset in there.

Take down Lith, a big round of “f” please.

As much as IQ, strength is arbitrary value. More important is what it represent. And what is median to what’s outlier and the abilities they represent

All I think is that at the end of the journey our beloved Doevm will have more company inside his head. Dude the party which the hero gather should be outside, we all have our fare share of imaginary friends, why push half of the characters in one body :D

Thanks for the reply. Yes, probably the genre of your novel is not to my liking, but that can’t be helped. There is nothing you can do about that, yet everything you can learn while writing it can help you become better writer and even grow as a person, so I’m putting my input as good as I can. Wish you all the best on your journey in life.

This will be the last chapter I will read of this novel. So good luck and hope that you succeed and strive to improve even further in you hoby. Will hope you gain some good ideas from my few advises and get expired from them to work on you skills. Last thing for you to think over about the whole system genre. In my opinion the system should be a writer tool to explain things and give creative moves related to the plot, also be used to analyze, help and advise, instead of do the work for the character. Example, the protagonist is introvert (easy to relate to most readers), the system helps him overcome that to some extend. Main character is average human, a bit more on the weak side so he has stats of 6-10. Then he meets the athletic senior who has stats of 8-10. the Average ***** 9-11 and some proffesional is 9-14. A genious have 9 on average but can be up to 16 in the field of expertise. Imagine how this work and what the meaning of these stats is and how it translate to their usage. Now you cna put other species as well, a bear will have innate strength higher then a human, so it will start from low as a cub but fully grown bear will have STR minimum of 20 up to some number close to that, while dog’s STR is lower, their speed will be higher. Now a system can help the reader and the hero to understand the world and put things in some way easier to get what to fight, run away from and outsmart. Then he will grow with actions and not as gifts, he ages and get closer to ***** in stats, then he do exercises and gain stats. He reaches a ceiling and cannot go further by natural means - good, he should not be superman, he should use his strength in some cases, but not against bear, he should run away from something with his increased speed, but not from dogs, he should outsmart those he cannot fight against, but not someone teo times as smart as him. This is how you put plot advancement, you make the character lose once every two time he wins something. If you wish to make him abnormal, make it a reward for something he did, don’t over do it. if average human is 10, the moment something is 10 000 human is no longer part of the eqasion, you discard ants for the same reason, no matter how smart and advanced they are, you don’t care about their opinion.

Ideas aside, literature advise is to not repeat one thing over and over again. The goblins were addressed as “green midgets” multiple times, you should change that to “they”, “the enemy”, “opponent”, “he” etc. That’s very basic level of writing. In that regard, search for tutorials and lectures in utube for new/young authors.

The story become too generic. RPG type. that’s terrible, youngsters don’t get that RPG games with their statistics and stuff try to emulate real world and put it infront of you easy to understand, but are limited by the technology to emulate it perfectly. “System” novels are moving the opposite direction, away from realism and towards computer game. I bet you (the author) are RPG fan, which is good, but have you played great RPG games or have you played popular one only, do you understand the underline meaning of those games. Try playing few “dungeons and dragons” tabletop games, then play “d&d” PC game and then listen to some d&d story in youtube. Compare what you see in the three instances and understand the whole meaning of RPG and how a story should be told. Also stats definition in this part are clear and yet terrible, inspire yourself from games and their stats - games like d&d, fallout (the RPG parts), kingdom come deliverance and others. Try to put them in a real life scenario, how would you numerically describe a different persons with those systems - strong man contestant, proffesional athlete and as example Bear Grills. Gaining stats should be observed and advised by the system, not awarded by it. Otherwise this shows that the system can alter reality. If so why does it need a host, just alter everything it wishes and get to it’s goal, novel is meaningless in that case.

For me personally the whole system genre has a flaw, the story should reveal at some point (even much later is ok) the origin and goal of the system, most don’t or make it really childish like reasoning. Aside from that hope that stats are not the cliche type and have math/logical relation to physical abilities. Health is always terrible statistic to put numerical value. Give the character status and buff/debuff type of things as well as “stamina” as numerical value. Example stamina is exausted during activities and replenished as well, then some activities lower it faster the normal like fighting and sprinting, and sleeping replenish it faster. very low stamina leads to loss of strength or agility, unless you have “iron will” or something. Broken/bruised arm give you penalties etc. Ask your doctor on how many points will measure your health :)