Webnovel Author: WildTurtle - Fanfic Collection

To be honest those changes sound great and will greatly help with the story and how it flows. You can always try and make it so that there is almost a love triangle moment, with Izumi unsure about it all. character development? In the end no matter what is decided, make the changes you wouldn’t regret. This is your story your interpretation of the MC in a unique situation, this is about your enjoyment writing his story as it is about us reading his story. Have a great no matter your decision. Do your best to enjoy where this takes you. Have a good one!

I think it’s a rather good idea, while it does nerf him in the short term, item like that greatly slow narrative and break immersion. It was honestly a good way to get rid of such an item along with introduce a new concept or power which he can focus towards. He can always create a similar item push come to shove, maybe not a colt but he now has pieces of the garden. He can make an items that helps to contend with the two champions. Such as a piece of jewelry that enhances certain spells or the like. Anyways looking good my guy keep it up. I’m greatly enjoying your story. One of the better Harry Potter Fanfic rn. Look forward to more.

No

Zephyr*

Is the zephy from the movie Night and Day? Along with its inventor?

The only thing I kind of have a concern with is the blueprint, the reason being is he himself is a god(just a very long aged being that can wield magic), in marvel their really are no gods there are only aspects of certain elements such as chaos. Even dormamu(no idea if that’s how it is spelt) is just a very powerful being that has to bestow his power on another being. So when he gets a blueprint that is meant just for him it’s quite odd, it does not really make sense from the marvel universe. Are you trying to say, the gods from his original world are watching kind of like a game show? If you are not he could realize that he simply is not trained enough like the reality shock he is currently going through and realize he is nowhere near skilled enough to utilize hos full power and original weapon so he has to go through different styles such as a brawler before he can get back to his original weapon? If you have a way of explaining it go ahead, I will continue to read. Have a great day and keep writing my friend!

I’m good with it for the most part the only problem for me would be the mystical aspect of the story. Just in the sense that gods have been brought into the story along with the mention of other ”realms”. I guess it boils down to TWD is a scientific world that can explain the cause for the apocalypse at least. Not entirely sure how goes giving blessing can be explained. If you are to remove gods blessing you can simply say that he is more in tune and has animalistic sense which is why he can detect intent and malicious auras. Or even his sense are limited to the area he has marked like most animals do. I will still read it as it’s good so far, was just an odd jump. But if you can explain it and make the story work good stuff, I’ll still be around.

Just binged read your whole story. Great stuff man keep up the great work! Would love to see where you take this!

All i can say is that i cant wait for more chapters, keep up the good work. Make sure to not burn yourself out. Have a good one everyone!

It also does not help that webnovel while a great way to find things to read that are unique is a large amount of repeated content that is just spewed with slightly different ways of doing the same thing. Like have you seen the amount of cultivation stories or system stories that are all the same. and the problem with doing something that is very similar to another is that the reader comes to understand where the story is going the character is just trying to get stronger. and no matter what MC does it will always work in their favour yes it may not end well or they may face trouble for like 1-2 chapters but immediately after that they literally have a phrase known as "face-slapping" like in what world would those situations happen without the author forcing the characters to make the situation happen which inevitably leads to the MC winning with no actual loss, only gains. This is why I really respect actual writers who make good stories with concepts that make sense even using the world which has been used soo much. Like if you are ever looking for a good read on Harry Potter and marvel stories Laraefarva is a good author (not sure if that is exactly his name but it's close). Anyway if you are reading this sorry about that but keep up the good work man I'm looking forward to where your story takes us. Hope you have a great day no matter what timezone you may be in! :)

It is just straight up a fact I feel inept whenever I try and type something on a screen instead of using a keyboard

I hate how bad my writing is when i use my device and not my PC. :l

SomEone mentioned utility and ti think taht is a great idea and i do agree he should actually get stronger but i believe that is too soon as his oppnents have not reached a level were it is satisfactory for a large surge in strength. A good time to potentially introduce such a power would be either when he defeats darius or swain and his kingdom, or potentiallY another champion on his travels as rn he is looking to stay around frelyord (totally butchered that and im sorry) but Darius and Swain are actually really weak in terms of power and i believe, right now he could 100% take Darius But would probably struggle with swain. A good video to watch on Power levels in runeterra would be a video made by necrit about it. Now for what i believe he should get is something odd something that could potentially be a plot point, such as “flicker into the void” which allows him to see slight alight traces of voidborns or objects that have interacted with the void. Now this is not strong now at all but it would Help it the future. Now that is just an example but i would still try and keep this random as it is a gacha. We dont want a Mary Sue too early. a cool ability that i think would be nice is something to help the People he comes across. such a an abilty that grants Imrpoved harvests to anregion or area once he has stayed for a certain amount of time, giving a legend to his name for many to remember. this is just one of many i thought if when making this inbetween reading and school. Now i really enjoy this keep it up and if you want ideas just meSsage me and i will be happy to try and help.

Keep up the good work this is really interesting si far. Have a good one and enjoy the rest of your week!