PandaRayne - Profile

Hopefully this story gets chosen. The synopsis sounds interesting. I enjoy reading story's when the MC joins the business world but not in the normal way. I read stories when the MC was a guy but never a female so I can't wait.

Hopefully this story gets chosen so I can continue enjoying it. The flow of the story is smooth, the characters are likeable, the plot of the story is brilliant and innovative. I was pulled into the story as soon as I started reading, the descriptive words make it easy for anyone to picture what is happening.

You may think I'm being harsh but I wanted to give the author and anyone who would like to write a story some advice. I like the plot of the story, but it could use more descriptive words about his surroundings, the people he meets and the things he is doing. I would like to see punctuation when someone is speaking as it kind of disrupts the flow of the story. I was finding it very difficult to lose myself in the world of this story as by chapter 5 I am normally drawn in. Also if you want to explain a certain word can you wait until the end of the chapter please. I will check back later. I hope you still continue with writing this story just with a few tweaks. I thinks it could be a good story.