nervousdragon - Profile

nervousdragon

LV 3
2020-05-20 Joined Global

Badges 4

Moments 27

nervousdragon
Commented

I think this is supposed to be nice?

She smiled and nodded. "It's not to meet you, Lady Avery."

Royal Secret: I'm a Princess!

Royal Secret: I'm a Princess!

Fantasy · sola_cola

nervousdragon
nervousdragon
Commented

*were fighting

This paragraph has been deleted.
The Lost Amnesty

The Lost Amnesty

Action · Akuma_Kira

nervousdragon
Commented

much perplexed doesn't work grammatically it would be better just to say perplexed and even then conflicted might be a better word.

This paragraph has been deleted.
The Lost Amnesty

The Lost Amnesty

Action · Akuma_Kira

nervousdragon
Commented

*hissed I think? I'm not too sure about that one

nervousdragon
Commented

*chosen

nervousdragon
Commented

Flower

Then there was the Floer Knight, as carefree as ever as she seemed to be playing some knives thriving game with a pair of Harlequins. The rules seemed to indicate that whoever managed to score a hit on the other first won, the trio now locked in a fierce bladed battle. Naturally, the Flower Knight emerged unscathed.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

in this situation passed should be past.

"This is the business of the Inquisition, your men are best spent serving here. I and my Elites will take care of this matter," descending passed disappointed members of this garrison, Jack rejoined his own forces. A hundred members of the Nameless Legion's Anti-demon division, twenty priests of the Red Cloth, and a woman beneath an enormous mound of dark fibre.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

enough that he could and I don't really understand the sentence about asking.

"Apologies, that was unprofessional," Jack muttered and restrained the burning power within that filled him with strength beyond gods. This was real power, enough he could shatter that golem with his fist if fully unleashed, that could see him asking, that could- Jack breathed in, and out. Slower. Allowing the thoughts to wash through him and somewhere else.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

but real demons

"They tried Templar, but we pushed them back. Cleaned up the demon's corpses, and piled 'em up in the warehouse. None of the usual Ruin Rippers, Snipclaws or Sandrakes though, but real demon. They were organised, Lord Templar, bloody fierce too." The Captain continued to salute where he stood, armour slightly dented along with his mithril shoulder plate but otherwise in great condition.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

fool should probably be fools

The endless wars brought slaves to fuel the fires of industry, and refugees that settled in the cities outer districts or the slums outside the walls, while the harbour brought in merchants from sea and land. But it was Oldeth's attractions that suckered in the nobles, the off duty knights, the returning soldiers, and the fool with too heavy a purse.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

too should probably be replaced with also

The second-largest city in the world (according to Alandrian scholars) had grown rich in sea trade for several centuries. Their people were kept busy with the practices of wealth, but too dabbled in the odd conquest of neighbouring lands. Their endless profits trickling down to form armies and warships that supported war all throughout the world.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

*you

"Your need a Soul Anchor. Easy to make, and I know just where to find them," the Imp grinned. "But I would have to be freed to do that for you...so what's say we help each other out?"

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

*he's too old

"His too olf for you," Rams said flatly.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

friend not frient

"When we're done being healed we'll go to the shattered throne again, I think that's where Bazza has been too. Chatting with the boss there like an old frient."

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

them shoud be then

"We'll get you checked them. Taki can you do anything for curses?"

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

heart should be hurt and it should be scorched

"Ellie, practically no one but you is heart," Taki said curtly, and began using his druidic power to rejuvenated her scorches body, "you're lucky no lasting damage will come from this. What you did was reckless and you know it."

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

No period after something and the i should be capitalized.

"You can speak your mind, boy, in but a short time. Until then, there is something. i most show you. A dark secret as to our reality, and the ONLY hope humanity has at salvation," with a wave of his hand the room began to hum, and Jack felt near weightless.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

hive should be give

"Grand Guildmaster Kenji, could you hive us a hand?" Ellie said as she decapitated a pair of wide-eyed gnomes, who had started to chatter in their grating tones.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

nervousdragon
Commented

*you're

"Ellie, your late if we're training today!" hissed Scales as Ellie entered the Golden Goose Guildhall. The snake woman spent her time here now, as did most of the Headless Hunter Guildmembers due to some buddy-buddy relationship between their Guildmasters.

Hero Scout

Hero Scout

Fantasy · Willsimulated

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