Gilgardia - Profile

Can we involve Chael Sonnen on the fighting aspect of the story.

How is she going to heal herself with no powers?

This was so disappointing in so many different ways. You have the first original character you create humiliate the protagonist. On top of that, he only survived because of another character we know very little of. I simply don't understand why authors focused on fanfictions try to implement original aspects to their stories when they are incapable of doing so. I understand trying to bring innovation and new aspects to the plot, but this is not it. You have the protagonist face against a character no one knows because we have no pre-established knowledge of such character. In contrast to the protagonist, who we know is of the most powerful characters in the known verse. This is his first encounter outside of what we have already seen in the series and you have him lose in a way that is simply disappointing. I recomend building up the original antagonists of the story through different methods. That is usually not needed in fanfiction because we already know the capabilities of most characters. The most simple ways you can build up the antagonist is through recognition of other pre-established characters or through actions that make your character truly threatening and powerful. What this event comes out to look like is your protagonist loosing against a child with augmentations. Who we are told has some powers because its father was a scientist involved in the experimentations of Soldier Boy. How he managed to cram these specific powers into it? We are neither told nor shown. Just how capable is this thing? We, again, don't know. All it did was kill its already dying father and trash the protagonist. Which in turn makes the protagonist look incompetent and weak. This is my only complain on the story so far. Which brings some apprehension to the other original aspect of the story. And this one is much more important because it's the foundation to your whole work.

Man this was simply amazing, loved every single bit. Thank you for an amazing journey.

I really liked Morpheus' appearance in this chapter.

Weren't his rings supposed to be unremovable?

In the same way I criticised the lack of essence of the show. I can also appreciate and praise the theme of Honor that has shackled Nik since the very first chapters.

This section of the book lost all the essence of The Avatar, which for me, guided the story. For my preference you took too many artistic liberties with the story. Understand that my comments are not to spite you or insult you, if it seems so I must apologize, I am just frustrated with this part of the story. I just hope to give some criticism to an otherwise great story.

Alright this just turned into a clown show

I can't understand anything of what happened amongst Nik, Azula, Ursa, and Zuko. So Nik hit Zuko away, and then a spirit that Nik can't sense, because reasons, takes hold of Ursa. Then the spirit fatally injures Ursa and moves over to Azula to do the same? And then "Kei Lo", the spirit using Kei Lo's body, takes Nik, who has a plethora of sensing technique, by surprise and kills him....just like that. But they aren't dead because their injuries healed and then they are reffered to as immortal corpses. The ferret then takes their body. So all the training, all the built up done by Nik is just wasted. This just seems too sudden and really forced. I understand that this is not the end of the journey because of some reason that is yet to be revealed, but even still, this outcome is just so dissapointing. After 220 chapters of construction this is just a total let down. I would understand Ursa getting possessed without any resistance, but Azula? Who is an aclaimed prodigy amongst prodigies and the greatest firebender to come according to the prophecy involving Roku's descendant and the Fire Lord lineage. And now apparently Ozai has spirits aiding him, whether that is their purpose or not. Are they aiding Ozai or standing against Mokshi? There is no reason hinted as of the 220 chapters as to why the spirits would aid Ozai. If they stand against Mokshi why aid Ozai at all?

Could Nick absorb a dead body?

This one was confusing for sure

I still can't understand anything that is happening between the three humbaloos, the ancestors.