Legendary_GamerEB - Profile

Legendary_GamerEB

Legendary_GamerEB

male LV 3

I like fantasy books

2020-07-04 Joined Canada

Badges 6

Moments 102

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author instead of "bot" in the first line it should be "bit"

"Uhm, Kesha, isn't that a bot too rude?" Almina came to the rescue. "Also, did you forget that Yman's physical attributes are far higher now, you know? I even heard the elders talking about his unusual physical stats."

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

the second sentence, second word should have "didn't" instead of "wasn't" and the fourth word should be "have" instead of "had"

However, Miss Sonya was one of a kind. She wasn't only had an abundance of mana, she was also good at trapping her enemy. And so Mai found her sturdy wall in the form of Sonya.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

third sentence last word there is a space missing

He wasn't even a person who was gifted with lots of mana. His mana was only a little above Bob. But because Bert was an idiot, he didn't notice that it could lead to his demise.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author second to last word needs a space

The group proceeded without giving a second look at the lying Abel. After all, it was all Abel's fault.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

first word needs a space author

Ultima and Vortex failed to hear their conversation as they were quite a distance from where the door was.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Legendary_GamerEB
Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author 3rd word needs a space after is

<Partner, she is better than you in using that skill.> Sistela, who was currently in resonance with him, suddenly interjected. "Well, as expected of her. She was the elite class leader, after all."

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

also withhigher needs one too to become with and higher

After the signal to start the fight, everyone's eyes were on Almina. After all, she was the most popular fledgling trainee in this city's Academy. A person who can defeat an opponent with higher-Level than her. 

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author 3rd sentence first word needs a space after a

After the signal to start the fight, everyone's eyes were on Almina. After all, she was the most popular fledgling trainee in this city's Academy. A person who can defeat an opponent with higher-Level than her. 

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author 3rd sentence needs a space at yman noticed almina

Almina's opponent was a girl from Section B+. It also means that she was pretty powerful. Before going to the stage, she stopped in front of him. "Uh…" Yman noticed Almina trying to say something but skeptical. He had no idea what she wanted to say, but she was looking at him.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author beginning of second sentence should be Her not he

Even Maena also followed the trend. He shot her enemy using the upgrade version of her Arrowbite technique. Three arrows flew towards her enemy, who couldn't decide if he charged in or ran away from her.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

lol newtendo loved nokémon platnium

Although Newtendo company was also a popular company, it was like a child compared to the Seeker Association. It was the biggest and most successful Association.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author need space after first sentence

"Uh, he will. It's only competition and those little deities with them are convenient human devices. Because of it, I bet they won't even suffer a slight injury. Besides, your brother is a person that is hard to comprehend. He's not someone that could be described with simple words. And also…"

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

do you mean liar

Then he heard the word 'lier!'. That softly whispered to him when she passed by.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author for the last sentence maybe replace looks with looked

Mai urged them then dragged Chloe with her. Bob and Brai sighed then followed the two. They forced their way in the crowd and in the middle they saw Yman on his academy uniforms of HCZ7. He looks troubled though.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

Author a small correction "If he saw him, he would certainly ask him if what was his secret." Should be changed to "If he saw him, he would certainly ask him what his secret was"

If he saw him, he would certainly ask him if what was his secret. So that Bob could have a chance at the cute little girl from the elite class. Well, only his height was little, but in truth she was of the same age as them.

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author second word bowed I believe should be vowed

Legendary_GamerEB
Commented

author at the end hates and him need a space

If there was anything commendable about him, it was his way of thinking. But still, she disliked it. She disliked him. Yeah, she disliked him. He wasn't great. Many trainees could defeat that Bruno guy. She believed that she could defeat that Bruno with ease. So, for Maena, it wasn't surprising that Yman defeated Bruno. No, she hateshim! Wait, why was she hating him again?

The Mysterious Black Magician

The Mysterious Black Magician

Fantasy · Fhrutz_D_Hollow

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