Webnovel Author: Phodoodles - Fanfic&Novel Collection

Awshucks thanks so much for reading on! :D

Thanks for reading on!

Thanks for reading on! :D

Thanks for reading! :D

Thanks so much for the insight! I actually am happy for honest Reader/Author review swaps. I'm actually in the process of revising the initial chapters as I finish the first phase of the novel and Heck yes! I cringe so much at my writing so badly, sometimes I doubt myself if I truly wrote this sober or was it when I was drunk. XD LMAO I'm planning on adding an auxilliary chapter soon. ;D I just need to rev up on my revisions and probably iron out some of the lore stuff too. So the Aux chap would be fairly easy to follow.

May the pointers I gave you help you improve your writing. So sorry to hear about your keyboard. I actually type on the phone too and I do recommend using online spell checkers/grammar checkers to help that too. :D

I'll be honest, but the first initial chapters were a bit of a struggle to read. Maybe because of the grammatical mistakes and misuse on tenses and adverbs. Not to add, I noticed that the author tends to be redundant too. And that made my eyes feel tired. (Imagine reading a paragraph that repeated the word "kill", "left", "walks" 5+ times) Although there was a slight improvement from chapter 13 onwards, I recommend that the author should be vigilant on proofreading and improving on your vocabulary to remedy that. Lore-wise, I like how the author thought about how to make his "system" uniquely his by adding his own touch. I liked the way how he fashioned the quest part especially. The Story & Characters though... is a bit lacklustre. Either that or the pacing was a bit off. Especially when it came to the MC's interaction with the opposite gender. I really saw him as a thirsty dude despite his dialogues were rational sometimes. Also the murdering parts and the implied pinning (well it is a harem) were a little awkward and robotic. I think using realistic references and putting genuine emotions would make those better. Although I pity Kite for being thrown into the fray of the system but still, some parts on his character development may need work since I don't feel that attached to him. (or maybe because I got irked on some of his questionable actions)