Kandielord - Profile

pretty sure thats his last name no?

in a clearing. ah yes that wall.

gasp! well im truly shocked, could have done this earlier. instead of repeting basics your filler, which would have been enjoyable, should have been a description of each room. not the same door test, walks till he can't, meditates, restate that 12 times and wastes chapter space and the readers will. when it would have been more engaging for the reader to read how the door tested, room description, then "as before atticus pushed as deep as he could without losing control. once satisfied, he began his meditative training of X element for X time before exiting to head for X element room." then explain door test, room description, then " he continued his traing as before in previous rooms, though not as deep since hes control of X element is weaker, it still only being level one after all." x time spent, next room. we would love to read about the blinding light room, how the darkness room reminded him of his sparring buddy, but as he pushed through it became disorienting and an endless void. so on. would have fill up the same amount of chapters but way less maddening and boring. the ice room so cold it rivialed the burning feeling of the fire room. that would have been good as well.

oh 30 mins not an hour, that's a twist. I'm guessing lightning next, though ice or something else be a better choice, theyre lower levels so hed get better gains, since theyre his weakest. honestly the really smart thing would have spent the whole time on a weaker element after spe ding an hour in in fire, water, air, and erarth. this let him understand how the rooms work better and then allow more time to strengthen his other elements. or just spend 4 hours in space to probaly unlock it or come close. he has this class once a week at least so unlocking and leveling the rare elements would be a better use of his time. butttttttttt it will be, lightning trys to zap him he controls it, the room is like a raging storm with wild bolts of lighting all around, he takes control and pushes in till he cant stand it then meditates till his time is up. calling it now.

bec ause hes in the earth room?

like the water and air rooms pressure. crazy he keeps picking spots that are just intense enough that he struggles to make the most out of his training. its like we have established that as a character trait, or keep repeating it. maybe both.

who would have guessed.

like he has in all the past rooms, almost like this is a training room for that purpose in a hall of similar rooms! in a class specifically made to do this, in an academy that tailor made your classes to fit your abilities! gasp!

gasp the point of all the rooms restated for filler.

and yet the same thing with air and water, so we do have an idea. shocker. I really enjoy the story part, however, getting really sick of the fluff filler to make chapters longer. again the actual story part great. but every time you drag out a basic thing 5 ways to sunday i want to put a bullet in my head. its honestly getting worse as each chapter comes out. Your writing was good, but the backwards talk to restate something constantly pulls us out of the story. this isnt dragon ball my guy.

again we know. four chapters of the same thing.

so stop wasting word count, we all know as well.

oh the teacher is from that one clan. Seraphins clan. thats what i bet

ohhh okay i was thinking eric.

that he was darkness and daggers. he was the one that nate fought, right? he was third ranked.

Ladies and gentleman skinny and scoutI'll tell you a tale I know nothing aboutThe admission is free so pay at the doorNow pull out a chair and sit on the floorOn one bright day in the middle of the nightTwo dead boys got up to fightBack to back they faced each otherDrew their swords and shot each otherThe blind man came to see fair playThe mute man came to shout hoorayThe deaf policeman heard the noiseAnd came to stop those two dead boysHe lived on the corner in the middle of the blockIn a two story house on a vacant lotA man with no legs came walking byAnd kicked the lawman in his thighHe crashed through a wall without making a soundInto a dry creek bed and suddenly drownedA long black hearse came to cart him awayBut he ran for his life and is still gone todayI watched from the corner of the tableThe only eyewitness to facts of my fableIf you doubt my lies are trueJust ask the blind man, he saw it too

sarcasm

hes saying the right stuff, just wrong reasons and time.

i literally was craving mexican and had that for dinner, and im eating the left overs now 🤣🤣

ahhh theyre still at it.