Unusual item to use for murder but hey? Original at least!
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Sci-fi · ags2020b
Hmm? Perhaps nod enthusiastically? nod ardently? or an ardent nod, enthusiastic nod? Nod is used to indicate the movement of the head.. Perhaps you could use adjectives? Well, this is based from my experience anyway so the decision is still up to you.
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Urban · Drakonous
But doesn't nod mean moving your head up and down? So, I guess it would sound less wordy if you put "Asami agreed while nodding/ with a nod." I never heard of a person who nods with their other body parts.
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Urban · Drakonous
as she turned? Or am I missing something again like the previous?
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Urban · Drakonous
Apologies, I guess it's correct as well. I'm used to using "to" for those kind of cases while "into" for objects and other materials.
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Urban · Drakonous
Oh, I should've elaborated it, hehe. The into should be to only. Since it's more like a walking to, running to, based on the sentence structure.
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Urban · Drakonous
to*
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Urban · Drakonous
Infront should in front
His name was Rheyzo, or was it Leyzo? It didn't matter since he already forgot, right now he called himself Blue. It has been thousands of years and he had a couple of kids and wives. He saw them all die in front of his eyes, and it drove him on the brink of insanity.
Fantasy · HotRedFlaming
Somewhere in between chapter 10-15.
One missing comma. If I was kidnapped, shouldn't the bag...
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Fantasy · EternalNightLotus
First letter of the first word and the first letter of the last word should be capitalized in a chapter title.
Knife Man, Monster Kid and Glutton Spirit
Fantasy · Breno_Ranyere
This is correct. It shouldn't be capitalized.
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Fantasy · Breno_Ranyere
Dialogue tags shouldn't be capitalized.
"Now, we have confirmed that it is somewhat intelligent. I wonder if it can talk." said the armored man.
Fantasy · Breno_Ranyere
Sorry for the late review, I had to deal with personal issues. Anyway, I love the whole plot of the story, finished vol. 1. The characters were greatly described so I don't have anything to say about this. Grammar and punctuation are definitely one of a kind. As for th book cover, it looks fabulous! At the first few chapters it was boring but the pace slowly picks up. Honestly, I find no reason why to downgrade this book to four or three stars. Great job author!
Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous