Pretty good, at times could use a bit more of the "show don't tell" rule like for example at the beginning it states that he's highly intelligent witch comes off pretty bad. It's better usually to explain stuff like that trough actions and achievements rather than to blatantly say it. Other than that, the world is pretty interesting and I'm wondering if he'll end up going back to earth at some point in the story since it seems kinda relevant.
Fantasy · GoldenShadow
Pornographic Content Hate or bullying Release of personal info Violence Spam Other
Pretty good, at times could use a bit more of the "show don't tell" rule like for example at the beginning it states that he's highly intelligent witch comes off pretty bad. It's better usually to explain stuff like that trough actions and achievements rather than to blatantly say it. Other than that, the world is pretty interesting and I'm wondering if he'll end up going back to earth at some point in the story since it seems kinda relevant.
Black Onyx - Forgotten Magic
Fantasy · GoldenShadow