Greenfoot5 - Profile

The last 3 paragraphs are repeated

Dupe Chap

Dupe Chap

Part of the chap is duplicate

duplicate chap

I'm enjoying it.

A small typo: you said "marrow" insteas of "arrow" when talking aboht arnak's bow and arrow

There's a typo where you talk about Elbas and you say "h" rather than (I assume) "he"

Says felt asleep, rather than fell asleep

A good ending. Looking forward to what might appear in the third arc.

Don't worry about the chapters before or during the break. A break means you don't do work.

Honestly, I'd prefer a delay to the 1st chapter in that case, so they'd come out at the same time. But do make sure that life comes first!

Personally, I'd prefer both chapters at once, even if it delayed the first chapter by 4 hours, or even more. Being able to follow the story over both of the chapters without a break is far nicer.

Manohar being brilliantly funny as always

A changing cover could be really cool to see!

"...made him slid across the toad's..." Should be slide as it's present tense, not past.

Taking it slow and showing the mindset can be just as important as conflict. Khan isn't a robot, he has feelings and thoughts and by sharing them, we become more invested and interested in the story as we grow closer to the characters and understand them better.

Near the end you wrote George instead of Paul when they are speaking.

Poor Martha. Wonder if she's ever going to get that favour paid back