It's not all wording choice, maybe more just straight up misplaced words. The very beginning for example I think you meant to say "had bought" but you wrote "bought had" also I don't feel you need to include the free in front of discounts, it would hardly be a discount if you had to pay for the discount! Shopping bad instead of bag, I might also change pity cash to pety cash as I think that's what your intending to say? Overall pretty minor things honestly just a few things I noted.
Eastern · SnowPenguin
Two chapters in and the premise has sold itself very well. Extremely well established I found myself pulled almost immediately pulled into his situation and began to feel for poor Xiao Ying. The premise is quite a new one to me but I realize a lot of these sorts of novels involve courtly drama around celestial emperors so while I cannot speak to how this compares to others, it in itself is a very solid and very well established story. There are a few oddities in word choice and a few writing mistakes but those mostly only tell me that English is perhaps not the first language of the writer and do not really retract from the quality in any overly substantial way. Reccomended!
Pornographic Content Hate or bullying Release of personal info Violence Spam Other
It's not all wording choice, maybe more just straight up misplaced words. The very beginning for example I think you meant to say "had bought" but you wrote "bought had" also I don't feel you need to include the free in front of discounts, it would hardly be a discount if you had to pay for the discount! Shopping bad instead of bag, I might also change pity cash to pety cash as I think that's what your intending to say? Overall pretty minor things honestly just a few things I noted.
The Face Behind the System
Eastern · SnowPenguin