Simeon_Classic - Profile

thanks for the advice!! : )

all and all a wild read mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So far i liked the story but it help you made the story slow down. How about adding more dialogue. Maybe describe the second character more. and maybe use ( when i got to school) instead of " fast forward to school" all and all i think this story is not a bad start.