Moments 2
3yr
Commented I suggest adding more description to the setting. For someone who doesn't really know what the difference between present day London and old london, it'd help create more imagery for the reader if you made more of a distinction between the two. Also, I would recommend adding more vulnerability, mannerisms, and feelings to the main character. Oh, and maybe have the old guy ask what his name is or other important information that the reader doesn't know yet. It'd be an easy cop out lol Again, I really like your dialogue :)
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Fantasy · Paul_Tromba
I really liked this chapter! Super engaging and exciting :). The only thing I would comment on is that we still don't know really anything about the main character (but maybe that's the point?). He's also kinda 2 dimensional, mainly because there aren't a lot of personal feelings or reflections. There's some, but I think it'd be beneficial if you could also make his problems feel personable to the reader. You want the connection between the reader and main character to feel special and interesting, and vulnerability in the character's actions and thoughts really help boost that connection. Just some food for your thoughts!
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Fantasy · Paul_Tromba