Webnovel Author: Moduo_Ren - Fanfic&Novel Collection

Good read, no real red flag that'd kill my enjoyment.Though, the development of some relationships were kinda lackluster. No real tension in the story, and a lot of missed opportunities in that department as well.Also, the 300 year time skip was a missed opportunity to add some more details into the world.The MC also gained power waay too easily.

Y'know, I thought the point of writing fanfiction is to write something new or put your own spin into the story; NOT taking parts of the original novel and stitching it with your own writing and NOT editing it to make it seem cohesive at the very least.I wouldn't have bat an eye if you had at least made it seem like you wrote the thing yourself, it makes it seem like you didn't put much effort into it.People here in the fanfiction section, are looking for something, at the bare minimum, different from the original. Not the Frankenstein's Monster of a patchwork you made. Some maybe okay with whatever you're making, but others like me, will immediately drop it when they see how low effort the early chapters are.I hope you will do better in the future, if you try writing another fanfiction.

Bad Grammar: It's bearable sometimes, but other times it's utter nonsense. It was not fun trying to comprehend the string of words you put together, and it sapped half of the enjoyment of reading it.Bad Characters: The 5 capture targets feel one dimensional. Amy feels plain boring, she's supposed to have relevancy in the story and yet she's just the yandere magic girl with big tits who's loyal to the MC, nothing about her personality is interesting.The MC is just irritating, this point saps the other half of my enjoyment when reading this.Bad Pacing: The sudden POV shift, I can bare, it's not as hard as trying to decipher your paragraphs. But, the time skip without any clear time length indicator between getting Amy and entering the academy just makes it hard to keep up.Other: It feels like you've pulled a lot of inspiration from Eminence in Shadow, some key details were just plain to see if you've ever touched the series, and you couldn't have fumbled with it more by removing the key of what made it enjoyable; it was ridiculous and played off as satire. You've made it into a serious thing, which does not bode well when it feels like the MC is not taking it seriously.