Badges 3
Moments 31
The chapter is good but some paragraphs are a little too wordy and confusing, I suggest to try and clarify the picture the character is trying to paint. Great chapter by the way, just needs more work 馃枻
ch 0 1 Chapter #1 Void
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
Every fiber*
聽 聽 聽 That beam was like a single ray from the sun that comes after years of darkness.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
Third*
This paragraph has been deleted.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
The throd sentence is a bit confusing, maybe go over it and clarify what you meant?
This paragraph has been deleted.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
The feelings of wanting to see her again suppressed all other emotions*
But still, there was a complete pause.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
With temporary memory loss,*
This paragraph has been deleted.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
Now that I think about it, this world is like a final test*
This paragraph has been deleted.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
They try to speak when they are still infants*
This paragraph has been deleted.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
I tried to stand on my feet again, only to fall back down to my knees*
I was experiencing a similar event in this new unknown world that I have ended up in a search for her.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
Walking into an unknown world, unaware of the gifts and dangers this world had to offer*
This paragraph has been deleted.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
There鈥檚 a spaced typo here
"Wake up!! Don't you wanna see her again."
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
Saw your comment for a free proof reader, I鈥檒l help you out 馃枻
ch 0 1 Chapter #1 Void
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
The sound*
This paragraph has been deleted.
You are my destination
Fantasy 路 Abdul_Haseeb_5298
This chapter made so happy omg it was cute 馃槶
ch 74 Mrs. Min.
Disrobe
History 路 Jinfiction
I have no words-
ch 86 The News.
Disrobe
History 路 Jinfiction