AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

Did he ever read the books? or is he just one if those reincrantprs who have heard rumours from friends?

'I think Grandmaster will be ecstatic'. A super martial soul like the Golden Dragon, which existed only in legends, its appearance was no less enticing to an avid Martial Soul researcher like Grandmaster than it was to a man who saw a breathtaking beauty.

Douluo Dalu: Royal Dragon Astonishing the World

Anime & Comics · Kisshot

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

Tis decent start but there are alot of gramtical errors.

ch 0 1 Chapter 1 - Monologuing is bad. Stop it, get some help.

Code: Infinity [Reboot]

Anime & Comics · SR_2027

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

he supposed to be self-centred, selfish and egotistical but doesn't stick to those traits? People don't change over night it takes months if not years, even in near death situations.

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MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE

Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

Unless the father was scum? which should have been obvious, taking it to court would have easily contested the will and then there's being able to claim it if it's jointly owned which any spouse would do if they cared for one another or had kids? more so in the fact they had kids even more so in the fact its clearly publicly know supernatural incidents happening constantly through history. too many plot holes. and then some dumb excuse.

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MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE

Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc

AbysallNight

10mth

Replied to Tiuh_Gojo_Senpai

100% he's defiently has below average IQ. he got done in himself by his girlfriend. the junkyard could be alright. Sending his sister to a good or best school? takes connections and money not hard to make he literally has the ability to seduce the entirety of the female population.

ch 0 7 A DEAL WITH FURY

MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE

Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

have money and power*

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MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE

Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

He can though? remove plot armour and bro has it.

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MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE

Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

I have never in my live hear siblings say bro or sis, though you do you. To female or male friends sure but it's like someone calling their friends senior bother or sister like they're in soke culti novel.

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MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE

Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

Typical Idiot. The fact he has amnesia and in a world like DxD is problem magnet in itself. Ex-Herpines are problem magnets, being good looking is a potential problem magnet, trying to pursue peace whilst trying to pick up the good women out there is a problem magnet, everything he wants is a magnet for problems in itself, unless he goes and lives in a secluded dimension that nobody can access peace doesn't exist. peace is temporary, chaos is eternal he's clearly not going to start massacring everyone above 5 so that he's left alone. he needs to man up its pitiful his behaviour and a disgrace to intelligence.

ch 16 Chapter 14 - Plans for the future and A Magician's resolve*

Winds of Change (DxD)

Anime & Comics · Fictitiouz

AbysallNight

10mth

Commented

This book is pain to read, none of the words flow smoothly, there's literally a bunch of convoluted info and wordings, sometimes simples better, words that describe certain things better, itll also cut doen on useless or repeated ideas. It is also, mainly just a monologue which though with truths is largely unrealistic not deducting the fact it all feels 2D. Revising chapters would be pretty good, though if you're writing purely for yourself and don't care about improving in anyway ignore everything I've said and treat it as a KW.

My only advantage is that I can strengthen at an absurd speed that even surprised Hayato, the strongest man in the world (according to himself).

No Otaku with Harem System (English Version)

Anime & Comics · Bukaro

AbysallNight

11mth

Replied to ZetaV

Game of Thrones.

Cúntóir: Answer: Three heads, three dragons.

Winds of Change (DxD)

Anime & Comics · Fictitiouz

AbysallNight

11mth

Commented

liason? intermediary? Contact? Merc? So many diffrent words that coukd be used and sound better.

"So, you're the middleman?"

Winds of Change (DxD)

Anime & Comics · Fictitiouz

AbysallNight

11mth

Replied to Apolonchene06

it's natrual to take all the Canon girls. they're immensely talented, gold looking and have unique personalities. And Loyal, if you remove the change at the start about Shan.

"It's you, of course, along with Mei'er, Jiao'er, and Xia Ning Chang." Su Mu chuckled.

Dual Cultivation In Martial Peak

Anime & Comics · Pastlives

AbysallNight

11mth

Commented

I feel like that's natrual. I hate these two things the most too. Prostitution and Betrayal/Backstabbing

"The first thing I despise is prostitution, and the second is backstabbing a friend. Unsurprisingly, your master has managed to do both in a single day."