Yeah, I'm just not good with words sorry. I meant that you need another perspective that hasn't spent many hours thinking ahead and fitting puzzle pieces of the story together. You are a perfectionist and it's slowing you down. When you write out the important moments you are looking at it as someone focused too much on a bigger picture. Certain scenes like when Lazar killed Francis were done well and I think it did a good job helping me get a better understanding of Lazar instead of adding another puzzle piece, but the conversation between Lazar and Amandla made the emotions seem less important because of how much precise information I was getting. That whole thought from Amandla starting with "What have I done?" could have been shortened to a regretful grimace and a mental "****." instead of forcing me to understand her thoughts. I'm sorry if I come across wrong I just don't know how to put it into words.
ch 85 You don't have the choice anymore (4)
Urban · Barbare
You need to simplify your writing process. Try to bounce ideas off of another person. For the emotions bit: You don't need to write out everybody's internal thoughts. Not knowing precisely what someone is feeling is just as telling as knowing exactly what they are thinking. Let the story flow and let the uncertainty become tension. Let go of your death grip on every single emotion and let me feel paranoid. Thank you for the chapter tho :)
ch 85 You don't have the choice anymore (4)
Urban · Barbare
Mr. Author, my lizard brain couldn't handle the earlier conversations between MC and Ji-ah, but now you subject it to a debate about the underlying value of a piece of art? I still don't know how the little schizo MC keeps refilling his duffel bag without getting thrown in a mental asylum. Love the chapter though :) thanks, author
ch 44 Exhibition
Fantasy · Hyowha
Will he be able to create better storage for mana later on?
Dave quickly entered into a meditative state and started absorbing mana clusters surrounding him, restoring his mana reserves. With everything done, he only needed to wait till the night and other people will do everything instead of him.
Fantasy · JustAWanderer
How can we even compete with this guy? he's just in a different class compared to us silent smilers
I look inside my heart where mysteries space had formed, inside it there large red cloud, I smiled loudly seeing that cloud.
Fantasy · AnWan
What's the point of a character dying if it doesn't have any impact? The fact that the character had potential and could grow makes the death more meaningful narratively as well as emotionally for the reader.
Return of the Tower Conqueror
Fantasy · theReamedOne