I would personally say that using these many names so early on will confuse your readers. It certainly confused me.
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History · Bk1010
Good intro, however, there are some grammatical issues which need to be addressed
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History · Bk1010
The repitition of the solar eclipse appearing out of nowhere is unnecessary
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Fantasy · daniz_
Ah I see, okay, thank you for clarifying for me!
Mr Xie: You have to behave like elite omega, you are my omega husband now.
LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
Thank you for the beautiful review!!
What's a beauty bone?
Hmmm. He just made my day. Can you see his sparkling eyes? And those plump lips and look at that long neck and his revealing beauty bones. He is so ethereal.}
LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
Omegas shouldnt have an apostrophe, and it would be smoking hot not smoky
{Crowd: Wow, just look at that charming man there, I think he is one of those rare omega's. Have you seen his shirt? Isn't he looking smoky hot?
LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
There is a word missing before 'elite'
Mr Xie: You have to behave like elite omega, you are my omega husband now.
LGBT+ · Scarletheart84
Aw, thank you so much! I am glad you're enjoying it :)
ch 0 1 Part 1: The Myth of the Grieving Soul
Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
Thank you!
ch 0 1 Part 1: The Myth of the Grieving Soul
Fantasy · PrugnaKerai
An overall good read. However, there were moments where I found myself losing interest in the characters and in the story itself. The author's use of grammar, punctuation and spelling is great, but there is a lack of enthusiasm and diversity of expression in the writing and narration. I wish the author all the best, they have potential, which is the most important thing in the long run!
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I would say the author is raw potential. They need to do more work to make their narrative smoother, which, at the moment is largely chunky and rigid. The grammar is slightly inconsistent in places. They are inexperienced when using a variety of different terminology, and should be wary when overloading the reader with too much detail, expecially names.
The thing we can't reach
History · Bk1010