InsertDarkLaugh - Profile

InsertDarkLaugh

InsertDarkLaugh

LV 13

Hey, nice to meet you! So, I love it when a story is dark and humorous, and am open to just about any genre. Unfortunately, I have a horrible addiction to books...

2020-12-01 Joined United States

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Moments 375

InsertDarkLaugh
Commented

Just a suggestion: when writing for general audiences, it’s usually best to keep the use of jargon to a minimum. This is because it can distract the reader from the story, make them bored, or possibly cause them to feel that reading the book takes too much brain power. None of these outcomes are desirable; especially for webnovels. In this paragraph, simply stating something along the lines of “blood magic alters the mind and induces amnesia” would have been more effective. However, I understand that such specific word usage may be normalized, and hence, natural to use. If your anything like me, you might even want to use these words to teach your readers or establish a certain feeling. So, if you feel that this information is something that must be shared, or you just really want to share it with your readers, then finding more natural ways to implement them is the best option. For example, a doctor explaining anatomy to a 9 year old, only for the MC to internally state that he already knows this. So, by all means, use whatever jargon you want. Use whatever obscure and crazy words you want! After all, I can’t tell you how to write (and I also happen to love such words). But just remember to use them sparingly. When, writing for general audiences, of course.

((Although it's not as perfect of a method as mind altering magic, by using blood magic to manipulate the Hippocampus, Prefrontal cortex, Amygdala and Cerebellum of the brain I can induce a controlled forceful amnesia on Zen to make him forget everything that happened in the past couple of minutes...))

Is It Okay For An Antagonist To Save The World?

Is It Okay For An Antagonist To Save The World?

Fantasy · cier_Tempest

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Commented

Nah, that's the result of abuse my dude. You should probably deal with that sometime.

(What a strong willed child, despite losing a parent so soon he's not giving in to neither grief nor pressure from the change in living environment, is this also an expression of his prodigal abilities?)

Is It Okay For An Antagonist To Save The World?

Is It Okay For An Antagonist To Save The World?

Fantasy · cier_Tempest

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Replied to Knife_Monopoly

Can you prove it?

A middle aged man with a monocle over his right eye was standing in front of the carriage, dressed in fine and strict garments diligently waiting for someone, the air he gave off was that of an experienced and wise Sebastian.

Is It Okay For An Antagonist To Save The World?

Is It Okay For An Antagonist To Save The World?

Fantasy · cier_Tempest

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Commented

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As the closest scions lunged forward, Fable spun around, raking his claws in a circle about us. Gleaming trails of starlight swept behind the tips of his claws, swirling out in a circle of glimmering death. Demons split apart like overripe fruit, dismembered by the barest scrape of his massive claws. The lucky ones practically exploded in showers of silver blood, their deaths near instantaneous, but the ones further away ended up dismembered on the ground, drowning in their own fluids.

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

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Commented

This will not save you from Jia Hyson. Nothing can save you from Jia Hyson.

It seems the plot has been pushed very quickly because of... Anyway, most likely under a sudden emergency, the villagers would immediately try to hide in the most concealed secret areas they had on hand. This Hidden Lagoon was not only underground but had a strange and horrifying passage to enter through.

[BL] Unlimited Flow: The Zombie Emperor’s Part-time Job

[BL] Unlimited Flow: The Zombie Emperor’s Part-time Job

LGBT+ · LittleBlueLake

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Commented

You have no idea.

With such pig teammates, they didn't know if this instance was going to be easy or not at all.

[BL] Unlimited Flow: The Zombie Emperor’s Part-time Job

[BL] Unlimited Flow: The Zombie Emperor’s Part-time Job

LGBT+ · LittleBlueLake

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Commented

Bet, it's the ice spirit she summoned forever ago

"Frozen over, completely. I'm certain you've noticed a drop in the temperature here already, a phenomenon we expect will continue as long as the anomaly is nearby. Reports state the difference is felt as far as the eastern border, and even the city of heartland, where it seems to be headed. The land behind the anomaly melts, but the unexpected freeze has killed the majority of crops, guaranteeing we will need to import even more next year."

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

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Commented

I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW ELISE (if that was her name...) WAS IN TROUBLE TOO!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! AND SARI!! ILL KILL HIM IF SHE DIES! I SWEAR IT! ILL BREAK THE WALL! ILL DO IT!!!

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"Very good, and you may assure him his precious fiancée is in good hands. After the bit of trouble she stirred up among the beastkin, it became clear we just couldn't allow her to remain active. I'm afraid my son will have to wait a longer, till she's been properly trained for this court. Until then…" Alverin settled back on his throne, glancing down at Sari. His smile widened viciously, sending a shiver down my spine. "It's good to have a second bargaining piece. This one might not last much longer."

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

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Commented

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I stared with disbelief at the man seated above the table, previously out of my view. His appearance was so unlike the manner of our first meeting that I doubted it was him, but the cruel glint in his eye and condescending voice was unmistakable. He wore rich, purple robes thick with gold trim and embroidery, the garb appearing even more expensive than the crown upon his head. A gold scepter rested in his right hand, a jewel-encrusted sword at his side. There was no denying it. Alverin Truthsworn, the Lord of the Circle, and…King of Brithlite.

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

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Commented

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"A bit chilly, isn't it," Bilev remarked, looking out the window. "It's a little strange. Perhaps there's a storm on the way or something."

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

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Commented

Wait, does Blade Ward protect against all physical damage or just bladed attacks? Or does it require malicious intent to hurt her? Does it consider collateral damage? Basically, is she safe if the ceiling collapses?

One of the Shadow Golems screamed, flying into a wall with enough force to shake the complex. Dust rained down from the ceiling, long cracks splitting the stone apart, but the supports held strong. The monster's eyes dulled, and its body fell limp, the great slashes across its throat finally claiming its life.

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

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Commented

Brains beats brawn! Just remember: W.W.B.D! (What Would Batman Do?)

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His unbridled optimism wasn't something shared among the upper echelon of the Divine Throne, but I found it strangely comforting, endearing even. It was difficult to reconcile, especially their estimation of my abilities. Even if I could devise intricate tricks or strategies, how could they ever measure up to the raw power Soltair effortlessly wielded?

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

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Commented

Not-so-fun fact! Places of extreme affluence often, in a way, suck dry their surrounding areas. It’s because of a mixture of policy, politics, and history that an economic divide is created, resulting in “poor” and “rich” neighborhoods/districts. It’s pretty much why every city has some version of a slums area.

Was this yet another example of the corruption rampant in this world? How could so much wealth be concentrated in such an insignificant area? Surely, if even a fraction of it made its way to the church I'd visited, they could afford to get proper training and spells for their priests. Then again, perhaps this luxury was what drew the bandits here in the first place.

The Forsaken Hero

The Forsaken Hero

Fantasy · Author_of_Fate

InsertDarkLaugh
InsertDarkLaugh
Commented

I wonder if his weariness of the other NPC's is partially influenced by his lore? Tabula loves contradictions, and Citrinitus embodies the "fear of the unknown." So, wouldn't it be the ultimate gap moe for him to secretly be an awkward nerd of the occult? A nerd who is so awkward and cute that he wears a mask to hide from others, inadvertently inspiring the same fear he carried upon those he meets? Hah! The man who embodies the fear of the unknown fears the unknown! It's so cute!

My body shivered at the thought of those three creatures. 'Just keep your cool, Aj- Citrinitas. Maybe there's something in my bio that can help me fool those lunatics just like the salaryman! Gosh, I wish I had his luck!' I tried to focus on the bright side. 'At least you can lock yourself here and hopefully learn something new about your build when this is all over.'

Overlord: Reborn as an NPC

Overlord: Reborn as an NPC

Anime & Comics · Delusion10

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Replied to Ju2tAn0therPer20n

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