Heileon_Games - Profile

In my mind the Lucifer part doesn't exist, it doesn't roll off the tongue as a last name and it feels very chuuni.

doesn't make sense to be called a prince, he shouldn't have any idea of what titles he has, so if he was trying to be respectful he should call the MC Lord due it not being a specific title.

This is going to be a continuing theme throughout the story isn't it?

I honestly don't understand your character, you try to shove all this backstory down our throats about your oc, but he doesn't even seem to be effected by it, so what was the point?

no idea, I'm just getting more confused as the story goes on

Look, I'm not going to tell you how to write your story, but if you write a character to be unbearable, then she will be unbearable, you have written Marcus's mother as less of an mother and more of a plot device used to steer Marcus into a certain direction, we haven't actually been given an example of her being a caring mother to Marcus which we would expect due to their "good" relationship.

Let me clarify what I'm trying to say aswell, I am not saying Marcus can't have a good relationship with his parents, when you introduced his father into the story just about no one had a problem with it. The issue isn't about Marcus's character, its his mother's, you have written her as someone who believes she knows better then her son in subjects that she has no experience in and uses that as an excuse to punish Marcus. We don't care that the story is slowing down, we don't care that he's interacting more with his family and his lovers, we don't care if he's focusing on inventing. What we care about is the fact that you've written an horrible excuse of a "mother" and shoved her down our throats. Look you might not care what I have to say, but the reason I say it is because I enjoy this story.

I don't want to assume, but I'm pretty sure its not that we hate mothers, you just wrote a very unlikable character and sorta thrusted her into our faces. Honestly this doesn't actually explain why Marcus goes through with everything she asks of him if his only interest is the continuation of his experiments, its pretty much an argument diectly against it. There are better ways of slowing down the story to get into the slice of life aspect, this whole mother apparently knows best bs is just annoying your readers, the grounding was bearable, "fixing heaven" was just dumb. And finally, being forced to go back to school is just the final nail in the coffin. Also saying he doesn't "have" to listen to his mother doesn't actually help when all he's done is listen to her and follow her orders.

Permanently

Honestly, his mother is probably the most annoying character, wondering when we can get back to focusing on just Marcus and his girls

oh God why must you do this? You made your bed now lie in it.

The whole story feels like its been forcibly drawn out...

Wow, so that's what it feels like to actually cringe.

yeah its pretty bad, but at least the author is trying, hopefully they thought it out properly this time.

Does What? More info please.

1

ah, I knew this chapter was a red flag, and hers is why.

Haha, she's jealous