Moments 2
Great work! I enjoyed reading Ryo's backstory. It reminded me of a movie I've watched called "A Silent Voice" where the main character also bullies a new student and regrets it later on. I look forward to seeing how Ryo will (or will not) learn from his mistakes during the Aries mission with Sez. Some suggestions for the intro: - You could specify what exactly makes the alien species significantly better than humans. From what I've read, my understanding was because they want to do their best in everything and that they treasure their results, but don't humans do the same as well? Humans are capable of having a passionate mindset but make mistakes. Maybe you can add more explanation as to how aliens never make mistakes. - You could remove the part about how they changed the currency (how the nickel is now a penny, a dime is a nickel, etc). I thought it was confusing and unnecessary
ch 0 8 Mission
Aries
Sci-fi · Violet9
Great work! I enjoyed reading Ryo's backstory. It reminded me of a movie I've watched called "A Silent Voice" where the main character also bullies a new student and regrets it later on. I look forward to seeing how Ryo will (or will not) learn from his mistakes during the Aries mission with Sez. Some suggestions for the intro: - You could specify what exactly makes the alien species significantly better than humans. From what I've read, my understanding was because they want to do their best in everything and that they treasure their results, but don't humans do the same as well? Humans are capable of having a passionate mindset but make mistakes. Maybe you can add more explanation as to how aliens never make mistakes. - You could remove the part about how they changed the currency (how the nickel is now a penny, a dime is a nickel, etc). I thought it was confusing and unnecessary
Aries
Sci-fi · Violet9