suphowyoubeen - Profile

suphowyoubeen

male LV 13
2021-02-18 Joined Global

Badges 11

Moments 110

suphowyoubeen
Commented

replace the second Panoti with him;*

Panoti who didn't know Panoti silently asked Adrian "Hey, who's he?"

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

That is how annoying*

Honestly if looks could kill, Aurora would be dead hundreds of times. That much annoying she was to everyone.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

add a comma after Like feet* no s

Like first it stuck onto the feets of first middle aged man which would last for about two or three more hours.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

As* if luck

Ad if luck wasn't on his side, he fell on his superior making his already loud cry even louder.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

on* many shops

Aurora then began looking around and saw that the posters were pasted one many shops. Aside from that she also noticed one thing, the mood of everyone.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

sighed*

Dustin nodded and threw the topic at the back of his head and looked at the dead bodies of the humans. He wanted to see if anyone was alive but sadly there wasn't so he signed and was going to look away when he heard Elora.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

not*

Aadi's mood turned sour as he said "Tch, what little girl, she's a devil, no even those devils will accept her as a goddess, you're the only one who can't see her true self."

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

Mark*

Jev gestured to mark to leave as he said "You are free to attack if you want but we are just going to keep our asses here."

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

your*

Aadi raised his eyebrows in surprise and said "It's really surprising for a Blazing Four horned bull to actually make a domain but sure, Let's see you domain."

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

towards Aurora*

Kavel then turned towards as he said "As for whoever actually have the guts to use underhanded means in first selection will be punished so heavily that they will regret being born."

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

laughed*

Aadi laghued and said "It'll be okay, this guy will be a stepping stone for my future disciples so he has a purpose so let him live, anyways let's go to our bookstore, I have to rest as the age is affecting me."

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

Inhaled, would be a better word.

Aurora stood up as she looked outside the window, she breathed the fresh air even though it was afternoon.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Replied to suphowyoubeen

Same with two and three. Capitalize them when you are talking about the characters.

Aurora continued her strike as she thrust the flaming daggers into one's ribs. This time one was prepared and he immediately took out his sword and parried the attack but due to the force behind Aurora's strike, he took three steps back and his sword also broke in two.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

capitalize one, since it refers to a person

Aurora continued her strike as she thrust the flaming daggers into one's ribs. This time one was prepared and he immediately took out his sword and parried the attack but due to the force behind Aurora's strike, he took three steps back and his sword also broke in two.

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
Commented

need some work on this paragraph to make it more understandable.

Her grandfather nodded and said "It's good that way, she will survive in this world with that nature of her. With her being so looking careless everybody will let their guards down around her. You can make her your friend if you like, little Ana."

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Life After Reaching The Pinnacle

Fantasy · lucifer_2805

suphowyoubeen
suphowyoubeen
Commented

him*

This paragraph has been deleted.
Valkyrie Smash

Valkyrie Smash

Sci-fi · Nomanalive

suphowyoubeen
Commented

same for these lines

Her whisper of defeat barely escaped her lips.

The Psychopath's Harem

The Psychopath's Harem

Fantasy · SKuLL

suphowyoubeen
Commented

this is the second paragraph saying almost the same thing

For several more hours, they indulged in this connection before the spell faded due to exhaustion, causing Ceilia to return to her original form.

The Psychopath's Harem

The Psychopath's Harem

Fantasy · SKuLL

suphowyoubeen
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