dwarfking1999 - Profile

This story seems to have a good starting point so far. I did like how you went into the action. Next I would recommend going more into details about other ultimate's since some of them might be curious about what you done to earn your fake ultimate title. Depending on how well your OC can lie other characters will grow in suspicion about your OC ultimate.

I really enjoy the story so far with good grammar. The only real issue I have with the story is a lack of a difficult problem for the MC to deal with. It is really difficult to create tension if your going to deal with shadow games. Since you can pull out modern decks to deal with everything. Otherwise it a really great fanfiction to read.

Character Design: The main protagonist feels like I am reading a well done mentally insane character. Also Author so far has explained the motive behind why the character act a certain way. Unlike most story's where evil characters are the protagonist. The Author explains why they act in insane way compared to most story's where their just batshit crazy in the head with no reason behind it. Character conflict: I feel like the protagonist will have to deal with double edged sword of having a adult mind in a child body. Also being a 12 year old trying to survive in the walking dead plus including some gods trying to hunt him down must be tough for him to deal with. World Background: seems to be close to the canon walking dead world for now

Major threat has been added in chapter 17.

I would highly suggest that you space out your paragraph apart so is easy on the eyes. Next I would suggest using grammarly to improve your gramma

This fanfiction story is pretty good. I have read up to chapter 15 and so far the author has keep his character as a villain. The real issue is that so far the main character has no major threats to him yet. I really hope that the author add something big for the protagonist to deal with.

I do not know the answer to that question since the author did not talk about romance in the story.

It has a very good start for fanfiction. I feel like this story has potential if the character works hard for strength. This seems to be the case up to chapter five at least. The Character is also not overpowered at the start unlike most fanfictions and seems to be like he have to overcome his flaws in order to get some power to survive.