Bony_Erection

2yr

Commented

With each chapter your Grammer gets worse and worse, you are unlearning English with each ch

ch 0 9 chapter 9

Sinful life with the strongest system

Anime & Comics · EroJaki

Bony_Erection

2yr

Commented

The difference in quality between the first chapter which is a 9/10 and the second 6/10 is just mind breaking. Did you write the first one ? And if you did what happens on the second one.

ch 0 2 chapter 2 (edited)

Sinful life with the strongest system

Anime & Comics · EroJaki

Bony_Erection

2yr

Posted

I tried to read most of it but I only made it to chapter 16, The begining is really rough. Things are mostly unexplained and thing just magically work for Shirou. Everything is center too much on Shirou and it damages the environment creation. I personally didn't like the way you specified who was talking but that's just me.

Fate/King of Swords

Anime & Comics · OrionClay18062000

Bony_Erection

2yr

Commented

You realize your making him a Mary sue right? Things magically fixed themselves when Shirou walks into the room, The calificación is 4.7 but so far this story is a solid 1.4

ch 0 8 Cleansed

Fate/King of Swords

Anime & Comics · OrionClay18062000

Bony_Erection

3yr

Replied to Bony_Erection

Ok, after catching up and finishing the story I can correct my previous Review. I still think the first chapter around 1-20 are messy and feel rush. Around the middle 20-48 the story reaches what I would consider it's peak. The story is really good and better organized. From 48-56 it gets a little crack-fic with the whole god debacle but around the most recent chapter it goes back to it's previous peak.

Fate Ruler Of Death

Anime & Comics · Xshamee

Bony_Erection

3yr

Posted

The story is a mess, I don't understand what kind of episodic sequence you tried to pull of but it didn't go well. Every two chapters there's an ending? But it's not an ending?

Fate Ruler Of Death

Anime & Comics · Xshamee

Bony_Erection

3yr

Commented

For once in his life he used his head, yet he did the most stupid thing I've seen. He used one of his 3 public, knows, famous transformation.

ch 255 Convictions

Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos

Anime & Comics · Einlion

Bony_Erection

3yr

Commented

Aight, you should stop were you are. NO MORE WOMEN, There's a point when it goes from funny and interesting to simply boring and disrespectful to the characters.

ch 176 Refusal