Finally mate. I love your style of writing.
ch 137 New Fanfic Out
Anime & Comics · SlyOW
Living the story so much.
ch 74 Education
Anime & Comics · PyteWriter
I'm enjoying the direction the story is taking. I appreciate the route you have taken with your Mc. His powerful in the physical aspect but his biggest strength lies in his brain, his political mind and his relationship with others
ch 71 Nice + 1
Anime & Comics · PyteWriter
I understand that certain sections of the story may seem less engaging, but it's important to power through them. Skipping entire sections simply because they're perceived as 'boring' can become a detrimental habit. Instead, you could have utilized those six months to delve into world-building or provide further explanation about Godrick.
ch 0 3 Chapter 3
Anime & Comics · greenbaypitbull
I don't understand what you are saying
Sword? Kinda predictable, it's the typical cliché weapon for every story.
ch 24 Chapter 24: Duel
Anime & Comics · SlyOW
Sense of progression. You story is progressing well, the plot and character developing are more than fine. But the issue lie in the sense of progresskon of your OC power. He feels stagnant. You can fix this in different ways. - One can be giving him a power up - You can make the fights more brutal. Mention how he brakes bones, rip skin, tore flesh. (Like in Mortal combat) - Give him a weapon.
ch 21 Chapter 21: The Hood
Anime & Comics · SlyOW
That's so messed up; Harmony needed an element of laughter, so it rewired her brain to fit its mold, sealing away the old personality to make space for the new one. Confronted with the reality that everyone liked the new her more than the old, the old personality literally felt depressed and finally decided to let herself fade away. It's so dark.... I love it
ch 60 Three Ponies are too much for a single mind...even if it's Pinkie's...
TV · Blacklares
Hey, slow down the relationship pace. Fixations and crushes are normal occurrences, but having everyone fall for him in just 2 or 3 chapters is nonsense. You have the time; build the relationships gradually. If I can't sense the relationship evolving and you have to explicitly tell me about it, then it's a narrative failure. Even though the relationship in Twilight had little development, at least it was somewhat obvious from the beginning. Additionally, I recommend giving more time and point of view to the other characters. They feel somewhat flat. It's okay to focus on your OC, but the world shouldn't revolve solely around him. Try to avoid the NPC pitfall; each character should react uniquely. Other than that, the story is quite good. I love the little details such as the SCP diaries and the magic development.
ch 25 Letter and Sleepover starts
TV · Blacklares
The romance in this chapter was poorly executed. When it comes to character development, avoid using bullet points and time skips. You failed to convey his emotions effectively; instead, you simply stated that he's in love. There was no foreshadowing of this development in the story, despite the obvious imagery of the fiction. This aspect was never mentioned or developed before. Besides that I am really enjoying the story.
ch 0 8 The passing Childhood. A looming Threat.
TV · Blacklares
Amazing last chapter, one tends to forget that outside adventures, the power level of the average person is extremely low.
ch 264 Investigating Melen Part 4
Anime & Comics · Abadom
I am loving this new attitude
ch 0 7 Fist 3: The Hero's Journey
Anime & Comics · EmmaCruzader
Hey, I really enjoy the story, but I've noticed a small issue. To create a compelling narrative, try infusing your unique perspective. Don't merely insert your character into existing anime or manga chapters; occasionally craft your own chapters beyond the predetermined storyline.
ch 16 Aftermath
Anime & Comics · David_555
Thank God you're back.
ch 77 Chapter 77 – Purpose!
Anime & Comics · Ghost_84
What a cliff hanger mate, now we cooking with gas
ch 111 Chapter 110
Anime & Comics · BravoBuds
Good fic, decent in all avenues but it's a comedy fic. It's just not for me. I'm leaving this comment to remind me later on.
DC: System Shock (COMPLETED)
Anime & Comics · Wicked132