HxHMysterio - Profile

it is a metal that make you immortal in one of the specials episode heart of gold

man this is just copy paste from the original , the only different thing is that esdeath replaced jin , not only that but because jin didn't show up here wil make him look like a coward from the perspective of the world.

very good chapter, one of the best one piece fanfic so far

the last part is weird

i think you don't understand how strong ace is even at the start of his journey, you make him feel way weaker .

please no more clones this time , it was the only thing that was bad for me last time

plz don't go revolutionary route it's so boring

this feel very forced , how was Obito so prepared whit a clone for the secret jutsu of the mc , the mc hit should land honestly

didn't his family treat him bad before showing signs that he has talent , why he is ok whit that now

the mc feel like a side character

the nerf for the spell book was unnecessary, also to much info dump

what about the memory loss the mc pretended, is the mother forget about that?

this is so weird

this chapter make the mc feel very weak..

very good so far, everything seems to flow very natural especially the conversations

you put too much importance on nawaki , it feels like the mc is a side character and nawaki the mc

to much inner monologues

ther is nothing wrong whit the mc being op , i dont see any need for a rewrite

never in my life seen something more forced then this chapter

to much chinese cliche