Withered_Oblivion - Profile

Withered_Oblivion

Withered_Oblivion

LV 15
2021-05-01 Joined United States

Badges 13

Moments 97

Withered_Oblivion
Commented

Ur sentences run on too long thoughts don’t run on like paragraphs. You should seperate it into parts. Also. Again. Grammar

This book has been deleted.
Withered_Oblivion
Commented

U should get someone look through and fix grammar/ simple mistakes. Also don’t make paragraphs so big. Mhm these things put people off or make reading look daunting. Just my opinion. Hope it helps

This book has been deleted.
Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Commented

You are messing up the names!!!!

Withered_Oblivion
Commented

Chemistry…

"Of all things…" Rain thought when he saw that notification. "I already know how to do math… I still remember the periodic table, you know."

Infinite Paths: The Raging Phoenix

Infinite Paths: The Raging Phoenix

Fantasy · ExSoldierLv99

Withered_Oblivion
Commented

Rude and out of order. The correct phrase is “must be amazing to sleep 12hours.”

"I guess my new father is also working for his parents since he returns fully armored," Rain thought. "It is annoying since now that things have calmed down, I can't hear a lot of people talking and always get sleepy before dinner and then wake up in the next morning… Sleeping twelve hours a day sure is tough."

Infinite Paths: The Raging Phoenix

Infinite Paths: The Raging Phoenix

Fantasy · ExSoldierLv99

Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Commented

Tuck into*

As soon as Dom said this, Gan Ning grabbed a piece of fish from his area and started to eat it, this caused a couple of looks around him, before others then started to took in to the food. Dom sat back in his chair, as a small tray was placed beside him which had a collection of the dishes being served on it. He turned to his side and saw that Meritamen had been watching everything that had taken place.

World Conquest Online

World Conquest Online

Fantasy · TheMightyPerez

Withered_Oblivion
Commented

… it’s been a few hours max

"Neither do I," he said, reaching out to take her hand. "I want to be with you, Selena. More than anything. But let's not rush into things after all; we barely know each other."

The Rise Of A Shadowsmith

The Rise Of A Shadowsmith

Fantasy · AkshatArpit

Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Commented

5 whole seconds!!!! I think u need to stop and count 5 seconds mate. If the goblin stop for that long it should have died like twice

Slowly, Bruce took another step back, and then he could feel his right hand touching the plastic bag full of energy drinks. Without wasting time, Bruce grabbed it and then threw it at the creature. Despite the rush, his attack hit the monster's head before it could reach. Confused, the goblin stepped backward, not understanding what just happened when it hit it. That alone bought Bruce five seconds… more than enough time for Bruce to grab an iron suitcase under his bed. That would serve as a shield, but instead of something to protect him, Bruce wanted something to attack the beast, and that something was inside the suitcase. After pressing a single button, the suitcase opened, and a thick curtain of red smoke flew toward the beast.

Enjoying The End of The World

Enjoying The End of The World

Urban · WritingMachineGun

Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Commented

That makes a lot of sense!👍🏽

Leaving such openings and giving space for you to be able to make arbitrary assumptions and changes is one of the ways I write, it makes things simpler in the long run, albeit I can always come back and edit a chapter if that's necessary.

Azimuth: The Elden Throne (New Version)

Azimuth: The Elden Throne (New Version)

Games · Follower_of_Abadom

Withered_Oblivion
Replied to _wilyn_

Seriously don’t…

And while it might have seemed like a sacrifice on his part, breaking up with his celebrity girlfriend and getting engaged to Tehilla instead. Cole knew Jason got what he wanted, and now looking at Tehilla just as she looked back at him with a gaze that was completely devoid of the love and warmth it once had, Cole felt a twinge in his chest….was she always this beautiful?

Titan Rising Online: World Breaker

Titan Rising Online: World Breaker

Games · Anone

Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Withered_Oblivion
Report user