This story offers a new take on Death Note, moving away from murder to focus on a more cynical use of the notebook. The MC is cold and strategic, a bit like Minoru. His plan is well thought out and makes sense. The tension with L is well handled, but the rivalry between them is a little less pronounced. Otherwise, it was a fun read!
The story captivates with a solid plot and well-developed characters. The writing is polished, but there are opportunities to deepen certain aspects of the background for an even more immersive experience.
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I found your story creative with intriguing twists and turns. The connections between chapters and the themes explored were well orchestrated! However, maybe a few details could have been fleshed out further to enhance coherence.
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It's a very captivating beginning. Can't wait to find out what happens next
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original Script Subversion
Completed
!ABANDONED (since 11/7/21)! The world has become a fantasy story and I am only a secondary character. Humanity has discovered what it never wanted to experience. The terror of being a dominated species, the humiliation of living their lives in the same way as a fantasy novel scenario. Their fate is already written... Can they really change it?33 Chs 13 Collections
My head is spinning...
Failure: The curse of the Onryō spreads, turning the hotel into an eternal trap]
The Spectator's Prospective Inspection
Fantasy · SUISEI