J_Writing - Profile

Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. You should feel incredibly proud of yourself. The way this story unfurls gives the reader something to look forward to in every chapter; mystery, chaos, intrigue and a bit of comedy as well. I am obsessed with this novel. Noe is a truly unique character that shines a light on the autistic community; he is gentle and intuitive. I don't really have anything to critique, The novel is a little fast paced but I like that, I think it attributes to the story. My dear author, excellent job.

First and foremost, I love the concept. The comedy relief that God gives is just excellent; I don't find it insulting at all and in fact I think that God would be somewhat laze faire. So great job there. I love the MCs sassy attitude and big heart, you give a lot of emphasis on self love and I think we need to see more of that in life. You give enough attention to descriptions that I can imagine most of it myself but you still steer the reader in the direction you want which I think is great; I love descriptive text. For critiques it's definitely grammar and sentence structure. I would also recommend Grammarly and even writing in google docs before posting. That way you can do an edit check; but don't be too harsh on yourself because it's hard to edit. I noticed that you said you live in Asia and I think your writing for English when it's not your first language (I'm assuming and if I'm wrong I'm so sorry) is actually very good! With more practice, peer reviews and writing I think you'll have our ridiculous language down. (I am from America and even I don't get my language right all the time). All in all you have done a wonderful job and I want to see more. I have added this to my library and can't wait top see where this goes. I am happy to do a peer review with you any time!

And this is why I adore your story

Well. I wrote my first review and Webnovel decided not to take it. Rude website. Anywho. Let me start, or restart, by saying that I am head over heels for this story. The way you write allows your reader to paint the portrait with guidelines and I greatly enjoy that. You pull the reader in with the sweet tender beginning and then sweep them for a wild and emotional ride. As a mother, I can say with certainty that I would never allow my child to go through such horrors; I literally cried for the MC and grew enraged at every member of her family. Goldie excluding of course. I felt every wound and wanted nothing more than to comfort that sweet child. If I could, I would put myself into the story just so I could give her all the love and care she deserves. As well, you bring a light to disabilities that I don't think many people understand, and for that I bow to you. For critiques, I can only say that I recommend to take each chapter individually and make adjusts where needed on repeat of words, run on sentences, grammar and punctuation. Most of the time I can't read a story when that is bad so I want to assure you there isn't that much here because I devoured all of these chapters. Her relationship with Jade is adorable by the way. As a sage heckin wisdoms, I guess, I can say that the more you write in a public setting the more you will become accustom to doing those edits after you write each chapter. I too get sucked up in the flow of my writing and have to remember to go back and edit; which does get hard because you read it so much. Please take a moment to congratulate yourself on a story well written. I am looking forward to more.

I appreciate all the feedback and will absolutely making those updates. You're awesome!

This story has brought me so much joy. Alan's narcissism and the System's sass are just coupled so well together; I love it. Even GOD hates him. xD Oh man, I really enjoy it. I do want to see more description and maybe the introduction of another character but otherwise this is excellent. Bravo, I'm looking forward to more chapters.