Not now but i would suggest you to rewrite some paragraphs. Dont use too much 'that's why' Try to show more emotions and try to show not tell. Like the cold bridge para...you could have written a little more descriptive and full of emotions. Show the surroundings as well.
This book has been deleted.
She is getting startled a lot.....
ch 10 Being Followed
Fantasy · OSM_1015
Right its getting good
ch 0 9 Cafe's Future's On Mr. Cocky
Fantasy · OSM_1015
That was a huge para but i had fun
ch 0 8 Newly Transferred Cop
Fantasy · OSM_1015
The bike man
ch 0 6 Blue Muffins In Bunny Shape
Fantasy · OSM_1015
Shirtless llolllll
ch 0 5 In Search Of Her Missing Bike
Fantasy · OSM_1015
I don't if its okay to go with exactly look and stuff but its better than lengthy explanation
ch 0 4 Yearning For A Complete Family
Fantasy · OSM_1015
Good chapter well written
ch 0 3 Pushed Back Twice
Fantasy · OSM_1015
Amazing cover and storyline, engaging characters and interesting plots. great quality work, highly recommend. The author is so badass for this, i salute ya!
Rebirth of the Death Knight
Fantasy · Idczhen