Badges 1
Moments 12
Shouldn't it be, 'in which the moonlight shone', instead of 'in which the moonlight shone in'?
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Vampires of Halvor
Fantasy · Justice_2_Free
Bain convinced him. I'll make that clearer. Thanks for catching that!
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The Wolfcrest Trial (Early Draft)
Fantasy · Clive_Haddon
Thanks for your comments. It's nice to receive feedback (Tough or sweet) from someone you know has been working at the same craft for a long time.
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The Wolfcrest Trial (Early Draft)
Fantasy · Clive_Haddon
Oh. Thanks for pointing that out!
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The Wolfcrest Trial (Early Draft)
Fantasy · Clive_Haddon
Okay, thanks! At the time, I thought I would keep most of the plan hidden because not much goes amiss. I was focusing more on the general outcome and less on how to feed the plan to readers :)
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The Wolfcrest Trial (Early Draft)
Fantasy · Clive_Haddon
There's a small typo here: {Shadows were cast all around around him. . .}
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Vampires of Halvor
Fantasy · Justice_2_Free
I like where this is going!
ch 0 2 A New Flame
Vampires of Halvor
Fantasy · Justice_2_Free
My reaction:
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Vampires of Halvor
Fantasy · Justice_2_Free
This story is already off to a great start. From the obvious connection between Ingrid and Wesley at the beginning to the detailed passion displayed by the fighters on both sides of the battle, this tale moves right along. My only suggestion is to make your transitions between POV's slightly smoother. But all in all, great beginning! I'm starting on the next chapter even now!
ch 0 1 The Battle of Ivayla
Vampires of Halvor
Fantasy · Justice_2_Free
Thanks for the advice! I'll work on that during my upcoming chapters!
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The Wolfcrest Trial (Early Draft)
Fantasy · Clive_Haddon
Don't you mean, 'Count Lendais felt irritated'?
Vampires of Halvor
Fantasy · Justice_2_Free