- 0 d Continuous Writing
- 291.6 h of Reading
- 414 Read books
Valdevitch
LV 4I swear to the Son, Father, and Holy Spirit. If I see another Harem tag, I’m gonna go berserk…
2021-06-16 Joined United StatesBadges 7
Moments 1055
Read it again then
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Author, I think this would be more impactful if we could actually see Kyle’s thoughts.
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Finally, are we gonna get some self-reflection?
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Honestly, family death is just a rite of passage.
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
No, god please no
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
That would actually be really cool, and add more to this entire bloodline thing in general.
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Nawwww you didn’t need to say that bro…
Goblin Cave I
Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Actually I think that’s for the best, the amount of brain rotting thoughts in there is probably enough to give me a heart attack.
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Even tho Mc is dumb and shameless, author is good at grabbing interest, and a bit of mystery too. I hope Kyle does get better tho, cuz Imm cringing af😭💀
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Yeah…
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Well, he’s also an ant rn👀
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Talent is too saturated in this world, I think it’s time for a Mass-Exctinction event.
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Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_
Author, instead of explaining what he’s thinking, I think it would be nicer if we can just hear his thoughts. Also, I feel like you explain too much how these characters think. Instead of just outright showing the thoughts of other characters, you could show them through actions. Like a silent stare, biting their lip, holding back tears, determined eyes. I feel like it would make these characters feel a little less one dimensional if you don’t always explain exactly why they are acting in certian ways. Or if you are to do that, then do it when you switch POV’s.
Celestial Bloodline
Fantasy · _Orange_