review this paragraph too much 'and' and put a full stop (.) before 'Everything.
This paragraph has been deleted.
Fantasy · Justin_Gabventure
All the maidens in the Empire had their eyes on him. He was a young married prodigy, just shy of reaching twenty-three years of age when he settled down to start a family with a mortal woman.
This paragraph has been deleted.
Fantasy · Justin_Gabventure
His father was a good man and many people knew him
This paragraph has been deleted.
Fantasy · Justin_Gabventure
ill check it out
ch 0 2 Magical Recovery
Games · FarmerOfBrilliance
They should do something more ant-like.Maybe clapping their mandables together to replicate clapping sounds to show they agree would be more fitting.
This paragraph has been deleted.
Fantasy · An_Average_Author
If you gonna make this an proper novel about ants then you should change your vocabulary.Its no longer children as that is a word that is used for humans.Brood is the name of the children of ants
This paragraph has been deleted.
Fantasy · An_Average_Author
The speech shall commence seems redudant.You could say that its a meeting,a council?
This paragraph has been deleted.
Fantasy · An_Average_Author
I got up from my half-slouched body. I think u should see the problem there. A more appropiate wording would be My half slouched body got up
This paragraph has been deleted.
Fantasy · An_Average_Author
:D:D i'll work hard
I'll fix it right away
This paragraph has been deleted.
Games · FarmerOfBrilliance
bro u scared me when i read this didnt expect you'd do it
This paragraph has been deleted.
Games · FarmerOfBrilliance
thank you for the response beans hehehe
ch 0 1 Countdown & Arrival
Games · FarmerOfBrilliance
this is glorified RI fanfiction
ch 0 1 BEGINNING OF THE PURSUIT
Tainted will
Eastern · EvilGrandpa