Badges 2
Moments 10
Please stop making Neville like Harry in actions. He is, or was, until Halloween, arrogant and conceited. Now you have him acting like Harry? It's contrived and seriously comes off as a plot hole.
Hermione slowly snuck back to her seat and gave Ron a cheeky grin. It didn't take long for Neville to almost swallow the golden snitch of all things, giving Gryffindor the victory. Hermione was happy with herself when the boy who lived landed on the ground, looking proud and relieved. She had saved her friends. Even if she lost Harry, she would make it up by making sure that Neville and Ron would be safe. Today was just a good first step in that direction.
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
If Harry is heir to an Earldom in the muggle world, he has been Earl since the day James died. That's how that works in the normal world. He may not have all the authority of the position, but the title and lands are his from that very day.
Turning his attention to future inheritances, Harry discovered that at sixteen, he would inherit his father's title of Earl of Ceredigion, honored in both the Muggle and wizarding worlds. Contemplating the implications, he put the will down and took a few calming breaths. His parents had indeed tried to ensure he was well taken care of, but circumstances seemed to have diverged from their plans.
Harry Potter: No More Simping
Book&Literature · Mystic_Verse
Dumbledore's constant need to be in Harry's business should at some point, lead to him getting fired. He is way too obsessed with Harry. And way too arrogant to realize he is not smart enough to be the guide he wants to be.
He felt gratified that Harry had chosen to accept his place at the school. However, Dumbledore acknowledged the need for honesty to earn the young wizard's trust.
Harry Potter: No More Simping
Book&Literature · Mystic_Verse
Again, while some new stuff is addressed in this chapter, there is a lot of confusion. Also, the Harry here is not the independent, skeptical, and logical person we've seen for most of the chapters. This one is, in fact, not even as independent a original Harry, much less the one you have shown us. Again, your writing hasbeen good, until these last two chapters.
ch 27 Leaky Cauldron
Harry Potter: No More Simping
Book&Literature · Mystic_Verse
This chapter seems very confused. The writing ignores events that've shady happened, jumps into the middle of conversations with no transition, and seems like it's maybe three different versions of the chapter combined together.
ch 26 Meeting Hagrid
Harry Potter: No More Simping
Book&Literature · Mystic_Verse
I have to admit, I think he did the right thing. He never had any patience for fakery, and that has not changed. It's likely more so with her, after how she broke their friendship.
I also know that some of you will think it was short-sighted of Harry to reveal what he knew, and you're right. It's his main character flaw. For all his talks, Harry is very prideful when it comes to his intelligence and likes to lord it over his opponents. Plus, even if he doesn't admit it, he was emotional at seeing Hermione for the first time in almost a year and a half and wasn't really thinking straight.
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr