Badges 4
Moments 725
The author used present tense.
'Am I kidnapped by some alien civilization or something?'
Marvel: I Need A New Body
Anime & Comics · Marveller
Can harry maybe, possibly win without getting caught or outplayed because he was "too cocky" or something. The whole story loop we've been in has gotten so repetitive.
AN: So the tournament finally begins. I'm so excited about this arc. I have something special planned on that front. As usual, please let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions.
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
feels weird harry wouldn't notice a new teacher with arcane hearing
The transfiguration mistress waited a good minute for the cheers to go out and continued, "The delegates will have the opportunity to learn from every institution they visit and I certainly hope that they would do Hogwarts proud," there was an undertone of threat at the idea of them embarrassing the school and more than a few people gulped, "They will also be accompanied by a single staff member to supervise them, which will switch after each task. In the meantime, their classes will be taught by a temporary replacement to make sure that your education is not affected in any way. I will be the first supervisor in the tournament as Headmasters are required to attend the opening ceremony and I will return after the first task which will take place in a couple of weeks. Until then, our dear Professor Flitwick will become the acting headmaster, and my transfiguration classes will be covered by Professor Matilda Sharp."
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
lily?
The transfiguration mistress waited a good minute for the cheers to go out and continued, "The delegates will have the opportunity to learn from every institution they visit and I certainly hope that they would do Hogwarts proud," there was an undertone of threat at the idea of them embarrassing the school and more than a few people gulped, "They will also be accompanied by a single staff member to supervise them, which will switch after each task. In the meantime, their classes will be taught by a temporary replacement to make sure that your education is not affected in any way. I will be the first supervisor in the tournament as Headmasters are required to attend the opening ceremony and I will return after the first task which will take place in a couple of weeks. Until then, our dear Professor Flitwick will become the acting headmaster, and my transfiguration classes will be covered by Professor Matilda Sharp."
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
that's exactly what I want to happen lol. she's a loose end that needs to be deal that with before Harry can get on the Dumbledore issue.
"I believe it's time for me to meet my son," the redhead answered ominously.
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
there's only one.
"Welcome. To Yharnam," I intoned softly, my voice barely a whisper but still carrying to everyone's ears. "A dream and nightmare in its own right. And the home of the Bloodborne Hunt…"
Gotham's Dead End Bar
Anime & Comics · Daddy
we don't actually know if she wants to harm harry in any way. She hasn't given us any indication she'll do so, However, she's allied with people who harry are antagonist against; if she does try to harm him, it would be because of those allies.
ch 243 Chapter 243: Broken Secrets
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
but 80% of the chapter was random trash dialogue. Cut it out and nothing changes. your chapters just aren't long enough to sustain a chapter that has so much filler. It means we have to sometimes read up to 5 chapters just for something to happen, that's ridiculously bad.
ch 282 Family Reunion Part 2
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
A lot of filler dialogue here. Most of the contents of most of the chapters could be completely cut and it wouldn't of made a difference. the author needs to be more considerate about what they write. A lot of the time it's just stuff that belongs in the background. A chapter should advance the plot in someway, or at least set up a plot advancement nicely. Your chapters fail to do this and it makes reading your story tedious. I could skip dozens of chapters at a time and usually not miss anything important. I think you just stretch your arcs out too far. realistically it shouldn't take any more than 15-20 chapters to finish an arc.
ch 282 Family Reunion Part 2
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
I hope harry keeps lily away from him. We really don't need a "bad parent not really bad, eventually dies to save child" trope. it's way too cliche and lily would serve much better as a constant villain.
ch 243 Chapter 243: Broken Secrets
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
"are... are you an adventurer"* You don't start a question with you. It's just grammatically wrong 🤷♂️
"Y-You… Are you an adventurer?"
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
yes? The Hera and Zeus familia, iirc, only managed to destroy a single scale or something like that. They were completely decimated by the dragon.
Would the black Dragon even shed its scales naturally?...
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
It's hard to imagine Zeus just happening across that many molted scales.
Buried deep within the ground, I noticed there were scales from the One-Eyed Black Dragon hidden from everyone's eyes.
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
surprised at what? it's a world with magic In, most people know it exists. There really shouldn't be any sort of surprise.
'Silver was slightly surprised as he looked at the young man, but as he saw his hands and clothes, he came to a silent understanding...'
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
too far*
"Why would you wish to associate yourself with me?" asked Naruto, a bit sceptical, at the raven-haired ANBU. Itachi clearly noticed the awareness in the blonde's tone.
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
They were already Anbu.
During the one year that had passed, Shisui and Itachi joined the ANBU to further support their clan's standing. Though this meant less time for Naruto with the duo, they still made an effort to train regularly with the whiskered blond. Naruto had met Sasuke while Itachi taught him.
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
Definitely not. There's literally no indication they grow faster, the author is just a poor writer. He's speeding up Naruto's maturity before being given any real reason. Kids are a product of their environment. A kid like Naruto, growing alone, would realistically be very illiterate and impolite. Social etiquette would be alien to him.
Naruto's face pales, and he finds himself looking downwards, he had many questions in his head, but many of them, Why Me? Why did the fourth sealed Kyuubi inside me? Why do people hate me then? I'm the reason Kyuubi is not out there killing people. Do they not understand how seals work? Naruto asked himself in confusion.
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
it's "have I been kidnapped?" or "was I kidnapped?".
'Am I kidnapped by some alien civilization or something?'
Marvel: I Need A New Body
Anime & Comics · Marveller