Badges 4
Moments 718
but 80% of the chapter was random trash dialogue. Cut it out and nothing changes. your chapters just aren't long enough to sustain a chapter that has so much filler. It means we have to sometimes read up to 5 chapters just for something to happen, that's ridiculously bad.
ch 282 Family Reunion Part 2
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
A lot of filler dialogue here. Most of the contents of most of the chapters could be completely cut and it wouldn't of made a difference. the author needs to be more considerate about what they write. A lot of the time it's just stuff that belongs in the background. A chapter should advance the plot in someway, or at least set up a plot advancement nicely. Your chapters fail to do this and it makes reading your story tedious. I could skip dozens of chapters at a time and usually not miss anything important. I think you just stretch your arcs out too far. realistically it shouldn't take any more than 15-20 chapters to finish an arc.
ch 282 Family Reunion Part 2
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
I hope harry keeps lily away from him. We really don't need a "bad parent not really bad, eventually dies to save child" trope. it's way too cliche and lily would serve much better as a constant villain.
ch 243 Chapter 243: Broken Secrets
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
"are... are you an adventurer"* You don't start a question with you. It's just grammatically wrong 🤷♂️
"Y-You… Are you an adventurer?"
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
yes? The Hera and Zeus familia, iirc, only managed to destroy a single scale or something like that. They were completely decimated by the dragon.
Would the black Dragon even shed its scales naturally?...
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
It's hard to imagine Zeus just happening across that many molted scales.
Buried deep within the ground, I noticed there were scales from the One-Eyed Black Dragon hidden from everyone's eyes.
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
surprised at what? it's a world with magic In, most people know it exists. There really shouldn't be any sort of surprise.
'Silver was slightly surprised as he looked at the young man, but as he saw his hands and clothes, he came to a silent understanding...'
In Danmachi with Plasmids
Anime & Comics · Abadom
too far*
"Why would you wish to associate yourself with me?" asked Naruto, a bit sceptical, at the raven-haired ANBU. Itachi clearly noticed the awareness in the blonde's tone.
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
They were already Anbu.
During the one year that had passed, Shisui and Itachi joined the ANBU to further support their clan's standing. Though this meant less time for Naruto with the duo, they still made an effort to train regularly with the whiskered blond. Naruto had met Sasuke while Itachi taught him.
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
Definitely not. There's literally no indication they grow faster, the author is just a poor writer. He's speeding up Naruto's maturity before being given any real reason. Kids are a product of their environment. A kid like Naruto, growing alone, would realistically be very illiterate and impolite. Social etiquette would be alien to him.
Naruto's face pales, and he finds himself looking downwards, he had many questions in his head, but many of them, Why Me? Why did the fourth sealed Kyuubi inside me? Why do people hate me then? I'm the reason Kyuubi is not out there killing people. Do they not understand how seals work? Naruto asked himself in confusion.
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
Not far. kids, no matter how clever, just aren't mature enough to think about stuff like that, nor use words like associate. Naruto grew up alone, he definitely wouldn't be formal.
"Why would you wish to associate yourself with me?" asked Naruto, a bit sceptical, at the raven-haired ANBU. Itachi clearly noticed the awareness in the blonde's tone.
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
No. He went by madara
"Me? I'm Tobi. Nice to meet you, Hokage-san."
The Conqueror of The Shinobi World
Anime & Comics · Drinnor
OG VOG didn't have wyverns. That's mainly because Destiny didn't have them in the first place. I think it's a nice addition.
Feeling their threat exceed the expected level, the Templar roared, and the Vex responded. Minotaurs, hobgoblins and Wyerns rushed towards the fireteam.
Destiny: The Legendary Hunter
Video Games · Writers_Ablood
dragged out far too long. it could of easily been done In 1 or 2 chapters at most.
ch 19 Leaving The North
Dance of The Dragonwolf
TV · Drinnor
I hope it doesn't come to that. it's far too cliche and the author has done a decent job of Avoiding those so far.
And yet Harry instinctively knew what it was, the elder vampire, in his true form. He looked at Voldemort and nodded to him. They had a common enemy. They would pause their confrontation until the Elder Vampire was dealt with.
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
huh, interesting take. I think Voldemort isn't gonna last nearly as long as you think though. lily Evans is on a warpath.
ch 239 Chapter 239: Enemies in Blood
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr
we don't actually know if she wants to harm harry in any way. She hasn't given us any indication she'll do so, However, she's allied with people who harry are antagonist against; if she does try to harm him, it would be because of those allies.
ch 243 Chapter 243: Broken Secrets
Enchanting Melodies (HP SI)
Book&Literature · athass_prkr