i think it should be "who's" instead of "whose" in this context
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
i think you forgot an apostrophe, so it would be "Crabina's"
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
i think you again meant "busy" with one s
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
i think you meant to write "worse" instead of "worst"
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
I think that "i" should be capitalized
And after a while it happened, as a neutral voice said inside his head from the helmet *Owner Automatic Sync complete, Link established, welcome Erik* "wow... what the... I think I know how to use it... just like that..."
Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
not gonna assume anything but i think you meant "clicked on" instead of "In"
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
i think you meant to use either ' or " but you used both or you used two of them, i can't tell
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
i think you should add a comma between "herself" and "still"
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
i think H in here needs to be capitalized
Erik patted her smooth head "awww you are just so cute" he dipped some more "Here, have some more!"
Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
were without h, i'm trying to be useful but i already feel annoying
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Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin
lowercase i, i think it wasn't intended
Crabina talked proudly "I did daddy! we made bone spears today and I finished mine in class, I'm the strongest in my class daddy!"
SPACE COLONIST: in the oceanic world ARK
Sci-fi · NirvanaPenguin