Kaxharu_Ryuzaki - Profile

It's a shame the author doesn't include the ninth generation, because Greavard would be a better choice.

The story is interesting so far, but the recent chapters are annoying, the protagonist let that thief escape despite being able to capture him, then he meets an injured stranger, after several questionable, irrational or absurd things he decides to protect him. The protagonist doesn't know why this person is hurt, he doesn't know who hurt him, but he doesn't question anything just because in those few minutes that the guy was awake he gave the impression of being someone respectable.

Not having heroin is stupid. It makes the protagonist seem less human. Pokémon cannot give you the same company as someone of your species. The problem with most authors is that they add the heroine too early in the story and readers end up finding her intervention in the plot unpleasant. That's why many readers end up preferring that there not be a heroine. What bothers me is that the protagonist runs a place where he pairs Pokémon, probably interacts with pairs of trainers, and that he remains a unmarried dog for more than 1000 chapters just because that logic is frustrating. There's no point in me complaining to a translator, but I had to vent

The first volume started off badly, your choices weren't very appealing and the details of the world you created weren't good either, using the flaws of the original story as the basis for your world wasn't smart. (I mean Ash's age) But then I saw how your story improved with each chapter, you made good use of the pokemon, objects and events to make it something interesting and enjoyable. But with the second volume she was a bit annoying again, the time skip took away a bit of her charm, you started a pokemon farm and crops, but you skipped acquiring new species, what happened with Giovanni didn't seem very realistic, like leader of an organization I am surprised that he appeared alone, at least there should be some subordinates acting as extras in the background. But the most irrational thing is that you give too much to a secondary character and the protagonist is left with nothing.

the choice of starter pokemon killed 40% of my enthusiasm for reading this, but I'm bored and I'll give it a chance.

Beedrill does not learn fire type attacks, the move "Sunny Day" is the only one it can learn of this type, you should at least consider the types (elements) that present the moves you can learn and use it as a base, before you start adding content about their moves or powers that you invented. The world you presented is interesting, but don't be influenced by those hackroms, most of these have content that strays too far from canon, some seem good to me, like Pokemon Elite Redux that adds interesting and relatively reasonable things, such as abilities and innate. I say all this because it seems that you are exaggerating with the type changes you made to the electroweb movement.

too many annoying references, these affect too much the personality of the protagonist and the flow of the story. In several chapters you added comical things, but they were not funny, they were strange because the moment was not right and this is something that you usually repeat in many serious or dangerous situations. The protagonist's conversations with his friends are annoying, because when they ask about something or he meets one of them, he always resorts to performing poor quality dramatic performances, as if he were a clown or comedian, I have no problem with him doing it. from time to time with some friends, but you use it too much and I feel that the original personality of the protagonist that I liked is being lost.

I just have one request to make to you, don't add too many weird things, Ash is an aura guardian, he is not an avatar or a pokemon that can manipulate multiple types (elements). I say these things because I don't make sense that I could manipulate electricity and shape it into an bow...

don't make it too complicated, just use the game features like system skills, view status, IV, EV, Nature, skills, stats for contests (toughness, beauty, etc.), moves learned, which You can learn and egg movements. Maybe also the DexNav (optional). A backpack with infinite space, the latter already has it, as long as you don't add a gacha, shop or missions there is no problem.

I didn't find the chapter funny, especially with what happened in the previous chapter, for this type of comedy scene you should consider the time and place more, also don't exaggerate it, at least try not to break the fourth wall.

I just hope you don't go overboard with the deaths, I'm really tired of so many dark fanfics about pokemon, most readers in the first chapters send message spam with the idea of a more realistic pokemon world, for my part it seems absurd to wait realism of a fictional story and to make matters worse, these same readers then leave bad reviews because of the way in which the personality of the protagonist is distorted with so much dark content (death, torture, etc.). I hope you don't abuse this resource, I have no problem with you leaving things like the death of marowak, but don't turn it into a Korean novel full of monster hunters and dungeon (waves of pokemon destroying cities and slaughter in horrendous quantities).

It would be great if you waited until galar and let him catch one that could gigamax

I really like your story, regarding whether to evolve into Pikachu, you could catch a female Alola Pikachu and evolve it into an Alola Raichu, this way you can get a girlfriend for your Pokémon partner and you can fill your pokedex even more. You can also give the gigamax gene to your pikachu and have it learn pika moves.