LordAion - Profile

occlumency, legilimency, parselmouth, metamorphmagus, clairvoyance and other abilities can be natural, so he could use occlumency and declare himself a natural occlumens. Apart from Parseltongue, which some fans believe requires a ritual to acquire, I saw a theory that other abilities, when natural, are like a recessive gene that is inherited by descendants of wizards who mastered this magic at its highest level.

It's much easier for him to use Occlumency and say it's a natural gift, giving him an advantage over Snape, since he tried to invade a student's mind. Now, there is no one who makes potions or invents them without minimal knowledge of the subject, not to mention how he got the right ingredients in the jungle. Reading this far, you can see that you are very young, maybe 17 years old and you also lack a lot of planning and question your plots.

I don't think it's that simple, there are many objectives for the MC to fulfill and eliminating just one training base wouldn't fulfill any of them. The point is that he allowed all these children to be captured and tortured just to complete the plan he made, so I don't think his morals are different from Team Rocket moral, willing to sacrifice unknown people for the sake of his goals. I doubt if it was one of his cousins ​​he would stick with the plan.

The type of author I like, thanks for the warnings. Unfortunately, due to the second warning I will not read this novel. Good luck.

It's simple, just remember what happened to Daenerys in the series, she freed the slaves and she was almost killed by the slaves.

If it were me, I would already be conquering Skagos, not only to be my land, but also to be a place to bring freefolk. This would be more acceptable to the northern lords, as they would rule the freefolk into their lands. Another good place would be Moat Cailin, since it is stupid to think that a war will not happen or that the protagonist would be able to avoid it, in addition to being very close to White Harbor, being able to make a quick land connection between the west sea and the east sea.

These last chapters ruined all my excitement about this novel. He built a business from scratch and it seems like it became the Starks' business and not his, where is his part of the profit? I know it's normal for the Starks to take part in the business and being good to the family is a good thing, but where is his family's foundation? of his future? Because as much as it doesn't bother me, the truth is that he is a bastard and has no right to any inheritance and that applies to his descendants as well. I know that with his capabilities he can start a better business, but dedicating years and receiving nothing in return is revolting, even though it's the people you love who profited from it. Besides, Catlyn should hate him more than anything now, since the main lords of the north must already know who is behind the improvements in the north and that in his mind should be a new level of threat to Robb's position.

Moat Cailin os better.

The author seems to have forgotten that Oliver is the oldest. In addition to saying that all Redhawks were born bastards, because Arthur didn't marry anyone. All this just to generate a conflict with "Cat", one of the hated characters. The worst thing about fanfics is that, the author forcing the plot.

You haven't seen the same anime as me, that's for sure. The MC is a complex character and it wasn't just one person who changed him, it was several people and several situations that helped him overcome his traumas and worries. One of the fundamental characters in his change was his teacher/advisor, but even though he liked and respected her, in the first season he took several actions that she didn't approve or like, showing that even a character of authority and that he respects is not the enough to stop him from acting the way he wants.

I don't think so, since it should be him from the first year, in the coming years he will open up more. In the first year he really does what he wants to achieve his goal, regardless of what people will think, of course his goals are always pure and he is a person who craves recognition and friendship, despite him not recognizing this in himself. The point is, in the first year he tries not to trust anyone nor is he restricted by anyone's opinion, he just admires some people due to characteristics that impress him.

Shouldn't Chien-Pao be a natural legendary in your story? By default you are using author?

You're a good guy, you didn't disappoint me, the problem is that you didn't say that you weren't supposed to take the story seriously. My comments are just criticisms to help you improve if you want, I know it was your first novel. Even if comedy was one of the goals, if it is not a story completely focused on comedy, then it should be tempered in due course. One last tip, when writing an intelligent or methodical character, always question their attitudes, questioning is one of the main characteristics of this type of person, when questioning their attitudes it will be more difficult to write your thoughts fluidly, but it will give depth and credibility to the story.

Author, why? Why so much comic relief? This keeps taking away my immersion in your story, which is already weak, almost non-existent, because you rush everything and don't delve deeper into the characters, just to make some moments that you think are cool. PS: don't take this as a personal attack, but your humor doesn't please me, I can't find it funny. Also avoid using both parents as comic relief in an upcoming novel, it's distracting if it's not a comedy-centric story.

lol

The funny thing is everyone complaining about Superman's strength, while for me the most disconcerting thing was Spider-Man there. How did he get there in time? Why is his spider-sense so developed that he can sense danger in another city? There was a lack of logic in these aspects for me, Spider-Man shouldn't have spider-sense at that level and shouldn't even be able to get to the place in time.

You're right, there really are different canonical origins for various heroes. So I'm just going to ask you one question, how does your protagonist know the origin of this Spider-Man's powers? How does he know he won't kill his own family with poison or radiation? This is a plot hole or stupidity on the part of the protagonist, which could be considered another plot hole, since he should have mental processing at a genius level among geniuses. I know that this novel is already complete and there's nothing more to do about it, but I hope you take this into consideration in your future works, if any.

reincarnation>>>>>>>transmigration reincarnation makes more sense and you don't have to deal with the trash that most people carry from their youth (which is normal since we are young).

I think the author himself said it was a kraken horn. There are images of kraken that could be squids or octopuses with several spines/horns coming out of their heads. Mythology has a lot of interpretation.

The horn is specific to krakens, as it is made from their horn, just as the horn used to command dragons is made from their horn.