fuqdisappngl - Profile

Thanks for the chapter! Though, the start of the chapter felt kinda incoherent and all over the place.

Well I'm still here, and thanks for the chapter.

Thanks for the chapter! Also, was it ever confirmed that Hana died?

Thanks for the chapter!

I was not too attached to Vega, and she could have definitely benefited from a deeper dive into her history. It also feels that you dumbed-down Aisha by making her consume the artificial soul in the middle of combat for no reason. This played in making Vega's death feel, bluntly, stupid and inconsequential, in an attempt to force out some development in the characters around her. You did well in the fight scene, but, as said above, making Aisha eat the soul in the middle of a fight is incredibly stupid. You should not do anything like that again in the future, as it conflicts with Aisha's cautious nature, making her character inconsistent and the story feel unnatural. Of course, if it is something like a desperate situation where she has to consume something without knowing the potential drawbacks, then you can disregard what I said before, but this was not one of such cases. Anyway, thank you for the chapter!

If you continue with Sen's journal then you should tie it in with the story and not make a info-dump where the reader is gaining insights as to how the world works but Aisha is not. Though, if it is something like exerts about Sen's journey through the world and his experiences, then that would work, and it would be interesting, but it could suffer from the issue above if you get too deep into it. I prefer fluff and wholesome moments between Aisha and Lorien, as it provides a nice contrast with Aisha's current circumstances. It's like "Aisha is constantly in life or death situations, yet she still finds the time to fantasize about her Mistress," which is just adorable~ Also, thanks for the chapter!

Thanks for the chapter!

Yes, her becoming a better person is apparent, and you developed that change well, but I am talking about the times in the story where she reflects upon an issue that should cause change beyond her becoming a "better" person. She never changes from said reflections, and in later chapters the thing that provoked the reflection is brought up again, yet the same thing is before happens, hence the "loop" I mentioned before. I would also recommend you try to develop Aisha beyond becoming a "better" person, because her issues and goals are not things that can be overcome or achieved by her simply becoming a better person. Also, I hope you enjoy your summer as well!

Thanks for the chapter🤗

My main issue with this story is the way Aisha's character development is written. Every twenty or so chapters she has a moment where she reflects upon herself, or situations in general, but no permanent change is ever born from this reflection. While it could 100% be my interpretation of the story, you could still do a much better job showing her development. I would also not recommend the "slow burn" development approach, if that was what you were going for, as it does not fit the rapidly changing nature of the story. Earlier the very gradual change could have worked, but in the recent it kinda feels like the story is jumping from one place to another, so you should write her development in a way that keeps up with it, while still keeping it natural and unforced. (Once again, these things could be attributed to my severe lack of reading comprehension.)

Thanks for the chapter😌

New Mira lore just dropped

Merry Christmas, and hope you get better

Happy Thanksgiving to you too.

I really enjoy the story and I feel you did a very good job overall with everything, and I think Aisha's character is really a strong point of the entire thing, which you did an exceedingly great job at creating. Though I do feel some of the side characters are rather bland(probably just me though🤷‍♂️). Anyway, thanks for the chapter.

Happy Late Valentines to you as well.Thanks for the chapter!!

Thanks For The Chapter!!!

😹😹😹Happy Holidays!!!Thanks For The Chapter!!!

Thanks for the chapter!!

Im pretty at reviews,but appreciate the chapter.💯