Lazyboi - Profile

You know, author-san, I thought of something that might actually be the key to help us make this RWBY arc a meaningful one. Not to mention, improving the world building aspect as well. But do indulge this question of mine first: How well do you understand the "Cycle of Hatred" concept?

Yeah, I suppose it would be logical for Adam to immerse himself more in his thoughts when he is out for some fresh air around Remnant. Aside from the possible recounting of what they’ve done thus far in RWBY, I do suggest you focus on Adam’s thoughts regarding his two recent companions for the trip: Rias and Rimuru. As I said before, the main idea of delving into a character's mind is to give readers a deeper understanding of that character and to sympathize with them. It’s a good way to avoid unintentionally isolating someone like what almost happened with Rias, considering you showed too much of her flawed side from an outside perspective while disregarding Rias’s own opinion about herself. Regarding Adam’s meeting with Salem, I don’t think you need to worry about it anytime soon. First and foremost, the current period of the RWBY arc does provide a nice time gap for you to work on improving Adam’s bond with his two female friends. After all, him simply teasing and expressing his primal desires isn’t exactly going to go anywhere in terms of relationships other than the passion aspect, no matter how much you try to add to it. As a result, you could create two separate bond events that Adam can have with them in his time of going sightseeing around Remnant. For Rias, it’s probably going to happen during one of their training sessions with the bond location being dependent. For Rimuru, it could happen during one of Adam’s checkups with her concerning what she managed to gather in regard to Atlas. And as it looks, the location would be on Solitas, so I reckon the both of them could have quite the romantic get-away among the snow. To clarify, those bonding events I suggested would happen in conjunction with Adam’s sightseeing, and before he eventually encounters Salem. I believe this would give the necessary slice of life and slow pace kind of vibe for the story while allowing you to clear your head in the process, author-san. After all, we’re going to need ample time to plan the circumstances behind Adam and Salem’s meeting because it’s literally going to be the prelude towards the biggest event for the RWBY arc, so it’s very worthwhile to make it count. It pays to be patient, as it’s best to not rush for the plot, especially when you’ve a jumbled mind. Then again, that applies to life as well since good things mostly come to those who wait.

I haven’t mentioned this in any of my recent discussions with you, but I suppose the current period of the RWBY arc would present the perfect opportunity for you to work on the character-exploration aspect of your story, author-san. Among the many things I believe you still struggle with as a writer is the fact that you haven’t quite been able to portray any of the characters properly. Of course, I’m not talking about the side ones; I’m referring to those such as Rias, Rimuru, and even Adam. An example I can bring up is from a specific reply to one of my comments in the latest chapter, which you’ve likely already come across, with that person saying how Adam is simply a narcissist. It’s probably not the truth, but I couldn’t fault them for thinking like that either, since it all boils down to the way you’ve been portraying Adam till this point: There just isn’t enough of his personal perspective for readers to sympathize. Character thoughts are often an essential component of a story because they allow you to understand why certain things are like that for said character. In the context of Adam, then it would have helped explain why he felt the need to ‘flaunt’ Rias’s own power in front of her, and not give people the wrong impression. Considering the initial part of Rias’s training isn’t finished, it would be good for you to delve into the thoughts of both Adam and Rias for readers to better understand their side of things, such as what do they really think about each other and some of their more personal thoughts. Honestly, it’s difficult to convey what I’m trying to tell you in words. It probably would have been better execution-wise and made much more sense if you could work with the 1st person POV, as this is what it was made for. Then again, this arc also doubles as a way for you to improve yourself, so I think it would be good for you to focus on a different POV rather than just the 3rd person. It can surely rack up the benefits if you’re willing to try, author-san. Ultimately, the only thing you need to focus on is: thoughts, thoughts, and thoughts… Yeah, not exactly the best advice to work with, but I believe something coherent will come out from your side in time as long as you think about it.