Hadi_Djouini

I read all the 33 free chaps except for chapter 34 (wave 1) and I made quite a few observations: 1- to be honest, out of all the webnovels with the 'extra' trope, this one has the best start I have even seen. The first five chapters are basically about the mc aura-farming which felt refreshing to see. 2- The pacing is surprisingly good and follows a logical patterns. It's neither fast, nor slow. Just perfect. 3- The world-building is non-existant. It's as if the academy is the only thing that exists in the plot while the outside world is frozen in time. The academy is also very stale and not well-built. 4- the mc is unlikable. Always complaining and saying edgy one-liners (i am him or whatnot). His inner monologue consists of him cursing and complaining every two sentences, which is pretty obnoxious. 5- the side-characters are kinda meh. If you asked me to describe them I would only use one word. They are pretty boring especially the Nathaniel guy who is grinning every paragraph. 6- the title has 'Extra' on it but honestly the mc is anything but an extra. He has an overpowered system, a 12-star talent (or potential) and everyone basically knows that he's strong. From the beginning, it feels like he has always been the protagonist which kinda defeats the purpose of the webnovel itself. I'm waiting to see the author's next book . So far this book has surprised, especially the beginning, and I'm sure that some of the issues will be fixed in the future. However, I don't feel like it's worth continuing. Much luck, author.

Pretty goated fanfic. One of the best writings I have seen in webnovel if not the best. Tho it did get boring later on mostly because of the lack of plot or anything really intense going on world wise. The character development is also amazing, and shines really well with the slice of life chapters. Peak work mate.

This story is by far the farthest away from a cultivation story LMFAO. The writing is primarily character driven and more catered toward slice of life. We also get multiple side char povs with great details to how they are feeling. Not sure what you're smoking friend but it's clearly working

Well it's definitely the author's first work, I can tell. I do applaud you wholeheartedly for actually sticking to the story and actually following an upload schedule. Well with that out of the way, I would like to offer some suggestions. The grammar itself isn't the worst. Obviously there are mistakes here and there (mainly about punctuation and sentence structure) but that's about the average quality you can find on webnovel so I wouldn't fault you. You are writing in first person POV which is really good for a character driven writing style, but the problem is that you need to include more descriptive language into your writing to make us engaged with the story as well as adhering to 'show don't tell' thing. You see, humans have 5 senses, but you only describe what the mc sees and exclude hearing and smelling completely which otherwise could have helped in making your world feel alive (here you can also use metaphors and comparisons like many authors do). You should also include more internal monologues so that at the very least make him somewhat entertaining to read, as well as slow down the pace a bit to make actions feel natural.