Hunnybunny69 - Profile

Thanks for the chapter, a great fight scene

I like the way you used to introduce the new dungeon layout to us, thank you for the chapter

Thanks for the chapter

Thanks for the chapter

Thanks for the chapter

Thanks for the chapter, the descriptions fit in nicely though sometimes they could be more concise, for example instead of saying there's a whole animal roasting, you could just say there's a pig roasting.... something like that

Jeez, that's a brutal idea. But in order for that to succed the oerson you're using it on would nedd enough iron or other netals in their body.... I don't know if the amount a normal human body has is enough. But it probably does

Thank you for the chapter If I could contole any fantasy element it would hopefully be water. I think with enough controlw ober it ou could potentially just completely drain a human body

Thank you for he chapter An auxiliary chaptwr would definitely be nice to have

Still I must admit that for some draft chapter these are already very good, especially the first few. Writing many chapters after one another can often worsen the quality of the last ones. Taking small breaks between writkng the chapter might prove usefull in impoving the overall quality even more. But this is only a suggestion, I found that small breaks help me when I write stuff, which is not very often. But still I suggest you give it a try once you find yourself in a better place of mind and spirit. I pray for your betterment and thank you wholeheartedly for this chapter as well.

Quality wise I'd say this chapter is worse than the previous ones, I think some reworking on some of the paragraphs might be good. I see where you were trying to take the bit with the wounded ursa and I think it's a great idea, it just wasn't put knto action very well. I'd suggest perhaps doing a perspective change to the ursa and it seeing mordred. That might prove to be better than mordred simply seeing the beast and watching it get killed, obly to take action at the last moment

I appreciate the level of writing in the novel, compared to others it is far better. The idea of putting different accents in the different characters is a good way to peronalise them and make them seem more alive. I think you're doing an amazing job at describing what exactly is happening and not make the descriptions seem to monotonous. Thanks for the chapter

Very good, didn't expect there to be rhe option of mordes leaving the dungeon. I don't know how smart that would be though considering it's a new dungeon and mordred is it's strongest defender. Anyway thanks fir the chapter

Absolutely amazing chapter, thank you