Badges 6
Moments 13
I think you wanted to say no CHOICE here, that would make far more sense.
"I- I guess I have no chance ..."
A Succubus System? But I'm a Virgin!
Games · SukkerroeAya
I think "no choice" make far more sense than what is written.
Slowly, my vision became clear. What had been complete darkness before, now gradually gained fuzzy forms and silhouettes. It was dangerous to use this magic, as it gave my eyes a faint, grey glow. In the absolute darkness, this was easily spottable for human eyes, for nocturnal monsters however it worked like a beacon. Still, I had no chance but to use it.
A Succubus System? But I'm a Virgin!
Games · SukkerroeAya
"Almost everything a human seemed sexual in some way." Me think there is a word missing here.
Hyacinth swallowed. She was still getting used to the idea of drinking and eating, although she did enjoy both very much. Almost everything a human seemed sexual in some way.
A Succubus' Blasphemy
Fantasy · CaitlynRaines
Er… What's the language of this story? Why is it's tittle in English when the rest clearly isn't?
Ang mga tao ay bulag.
The Virgin Succubus
Fantasy · Elixr_Victoria
I think you wanted to write body here instead of bpdy, but I might be wrong ;)
that's when I saw through tear coated eyes the girl with the box cutter walking over, the rest of the girls walked away as she kicked my limp bpdy over, she walked over to my crotch and lowered herself, grabbing my penis she began to use the box cutter, sawing back and forth at the base, I didn't have anything left it had felt like hours since they had started, I had blacked out several times and my body was broken in several places, I was limply and weakly squirming, a low groan sound constantly coming out, I had nearly exploded my vocal cords from the intensity of my screams.
tortured succubus
Fantasy · classy_fied
I believed doorway to have long become a lone word in English? (Unless you want to speak of something that's in the way/path of the door, potentially blocking it.) Granted, that's a rather minor error anyway…
about to enter the door way I began to hear the conversations of the occupants of the gym making my blood run cold and my teeth clench tight.
tortured succubus
Fantasy · classy_fied
Another error in the same paragraph that I hadn't seen before "they are like famuly to me" instead of family. (But don't let those two little things discourage you to continue.)
<I cant remember their names, when I all movement, they disowned me... But the doctors and nurses that took care of me they are like famuly to me, I would love to see them again. I dont know the hospitals name, but their names I can never forget. Jackson Bridge, Gavin Lawrence, London Steelheart, and Emily Stone.>
wfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Fantasy · Ace_the_wolf
"When I all movements", me think you forgot a word and wanted to write "When I LOST all movements."
<I cant remember their names, when I all movement, they disowned me... But the doctors and nurses that took care of me they are like famuly to me, I would love to see them again. I dont know the hospitals name, but their names I can never forget. Jackson Bridge, Gavin Lawrence, London Steelheart, and Emily Stone.>
wfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Fantasy · Ace_the_wolf
I really hope Alexa will find (and use) something to change her name, her curent one is really annoying.
Name: Wait what? a system?
wfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Fantasy · Ace_the_wolf
A nice start. Will you ever write more of this story?
ch 0 1 A Run-in
The Succubus and the Human Boy
Fantasy · DarkSneaker