Jkcrosby3 - Profile

Jkcrosby3

female LV 15
2021-12-22 Joined Global

Badges 14

Moments 68

Jkcrosby3
Commented

not undermined, but underestimated or something like that

Kahn originally expected 15 to 20 thousand gold coins at best. Now he felt like he greatly undermined the value of the fortune he acquired that day. This transaction now made Kahn filthy rich compared to many adventurers.

Hero of Darkness

Hero of Darkness

Fantasy · CrimsonWolfAuthor

Jkcrosby3
Commented

se "who seemed to be shook up and scared."

"Guys, don't forget how swiftly all of them were killed. Not a single one of them even saw it coming and died on the spot with those hard spear-like things. Some say those belong to dungeon monsters." said another member of the group who was seemed to be shook and scared.

Hero of Darkness

Hero of Darkness

Fantasy · CrimsonWolfAuthor

Jkcrosby3
Commented

use "later"

Kahn yawned as he finally opened his eyes after a decent sleep. He quickly freshened up and went to the canteen for breakfast as he woke up a little late than his usual time.

Hero of Darkness

Hero of Darkness

Fantasy · CrimsonWolfAuthor

Jkcrosby3
Commented

take out the "a"

Because soon, Kahn was going to wreak a havoc in the entire city.

Hero of Darkness

Hero of Darkness

Fantasy · CrimsonWolfAuthor

Jkcrosby3
Commented

and put a comma after high. High is ok, but because of "long-range" I think of archery and thus height. perhaps something like "large" or "excessive"?

"System, show me the merged skills and prioritize on the ones that can help me infiltrate any place without being noticed and also the ones that can cause a high long-range damage." said Kahn as he was already aware of what he needed the most now.

Hero of Darkness

Hero of Darkness

Fantasy · CrimsonWolfAuthor

Jkcrosby3
Commented

take out the "a"

"System, show me the merged skills and prioritize on the ones that can help me infiltrate any place without being noticed and also the ones that can cause a high long-range damage." said Kahn as he was already aware of what he needed the most now.

Hero of Darkness

Hero of Darkness

Fantasy · CrimsonWolfAuthor

Jkcrosby3
Jkcrosby3
Jkcrosby3
Commented

it was just in the ocean. it couldn't be desiccated. how about decimated?

Currently, they were all using those pincers to tear off chunks of meat off the desiccated corpse and stuff them into their mouths. From time to time, a fight for an especially juicy piece of meat would break out, ending up in a few monsters being torn apart and quickly devoured by the victors.

Shadow Slave

Shadow Slave

Fantasy · Guiltythree

Jkcrosby3
Jkcrosby3
Commented

I've been puzzling over the use of 'sued' for a while . I am pretty sure you mean 'used'. you could probably change it throughout.

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

celery -> clearly

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

400 years old

"That's tricky," Sandra replied. I'm thinking wind since that will be a major boon to speed and is very versatile, but death would allow me to deal a lot more damage. I'll probably get Zirani's opinion on things. She may be a nature ether beast, but she's also a hundred years old and a Zigan. She's like a walking library probably. I don't remember much of… back then, but I do remember that one of my older sisters' tutors was a dark affinity aether beast. They understand their affinity on a more base and primal level than we do. They were born with their affinities."

Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

endearing -> endangering

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

heaped -> headed

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

reaming? try working

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

presumably? try pleasurably

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

there -> they're

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

saute -> statue

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

Jkcrosby3
Commented

spacial -> spatial

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Aether Beasts

Aether Beasts

Fantasy · I_S_Rift

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