Daoist9zjq - Profile

I think you've done a fine job with the MC. He's not heartless where he doesn't care about people, but he knows that the more they add to the group the harder it is to protect it. Let alone that the only ones he actually knows are in the group and their safety comes first. Decent fight scenes, smart/strong mc not op though, good characters and interactions. I'd like to get more insight on other characters but it's early so that's fine so far. So thank you for the chapters and keep up the great work.

I thought that it was a good chapter. I really didn't see anything wrong with it although I hoped at first that he did at least kiss Mylene but even if he didn't it was still great.

Hope everything is ok and you continue this story. A great start so far.

Fantastic writing so far. Good dialogue and decent fight scenes although the joust part was great. Strong willed MC working towards his goals already. Not a ton to go off yet but everything has been very good so far. Thanks for the chapters and keep up the great work.

Nice to see you back and writing again. You're a great writer that makes interesting characters with a knack for small details that builds upon the world. It's only been 3 chapters but we get a feel of the characters that have been introduced sans Rangiku but shes had minimal screen time and internal thoughts. As long as you continue I know you'll make a great story.

Great to see you back. Love the chapter and the whole story. Very well done

2

TFTC. Good of Nagi to talk to Takashi like he did. Have a great time with your family

I really enjoy the story but I don't really get why Rudy handled the Paul situation the way he did. Hes been proven to be a liar, manipulator and greedy putting himself over his family. After wanting his mother to distance herself from Paul, he follows Paul along his schemes. He gets called out, with some points that make sense, although Rudy has a more solid foundation to stand on with the others by the way he acted and helped Zenith and Lilia. Now he's going to let Pual get home first to spout bs and try to turn everyone against him. I just hope that you don't make it to where Rudy gives up without fighting for the rest of the family and having him come out "on top" the way he should. Paul's a scum bag and Rudy seems to have done enough and made enough difference to make Zenith and Lilia believe and stand beside him.

That's why I think you can actually make it work. You plan for how characters personalities and traits mesh with others and how they would react to situations. It'll be interesting to see more interactions between the group and Nagi, especially with a slight change in outlook on working with people. Nagi is calculating, smart, driven, a realist but not overly emotional and slightly distant. It's easy to see how he works well with certain people, Kohta, Saeko and Saya from a view of the world standpoint. Takashi, and Shizuka are more naive. I don't know who you plan for the harem but I'm excited to see how everything plays out.

Harem. One of the few authors that can probably make a harem believable

I didn't even think about the bow catching on anything and thats something I could definitely see the MC thinking about when he didn't take it. It could be a huge risk going through the horde like he did with it on. Excited to see what they get their hands on and where you take things from here. Thanks for the chapter

Love the way he handled the woman wanting to die. Sad to see it happen so soon but nice to not see his personality change and spout bs. The only thing I don't think he would have done was give up on the bow so quickly. It's easy to replace or sharpen arrows and oil a bow string. Seems awfully quick to get rid of his main weapon when finding ammunition for guns in Japan would be harder.

Good luck on your exams. Eagerly await your next chapters to see where you take this unique and well written story.

Great story with an MC that has common sense, and reacts in a believable way that isn't edgy or clueless. Good pace with perfect grammar. Thanks for the chapters and keep up the great work.