Badges 2
Moments 670
Except that planet never had life to begin with...
As much as I pretend to be annoyed at her antics, I'm slowly growing fond of the time we spend here on Celvana.
Dragon Ball: Back in Black
Anime & Comics · OmniSpectra
🤦🏻♂️ So it is a reader-insert? Okay, now your confusing me since this contradicts your first response since -You'-POV (2nd person)- is pretty much the reader-insert default standard. You know there's a tag for it, right? It's still an indication if that were the case, so kind of would be. stylistic choice? I just went up to chap4 with a [you] search and found it to not be prevalent. Are you confusing a self-insert for a reader-insert? Then again, no reincarnation/transmigration tag, so [semi self-insert OC] is more likely the case. I found only the following stuff from the beginning of chap2 to be easily misrepresented without reading thoroughly and funnily enough, nothing beyond that point came across as such. ("unlike the Staraptor you'd see in pokemon matches" - "when they attack, you can feel the pressure of every hit on your skin!" - "You need connections or money just to start off." - "After all, a single pokeball costs 200₽. And the cheapest berries will set you back for 15₽.") So yeah, sorry, my bad. The misleading synopsis totally didn't help though. People that don't like reader-inserts will skip because of it.
Hey there. Some readers will only look at the tags to decide what they read.
Pokemon - Solo's Strange Journey
Video Games · BenisBoy14
Both. Though I wouldn't say it's confusion in general since I can clearly comprehend what it's read like, but the ratio of it and digging for information on if changes later on. As well as a ranting, obviously. Needed to eventually let it out lol.
Hey there. Some readers will only look at the tags to decide what they read.
Pokemon - Solo's Strange Journey
Video Games · BenisBoy14
"Never 'You'-POV"? I'm sorry, if this comes off too rude, and will admit that this fanfic currently still interests me despite not reading it much yet. But it has to be said. Can you not read or remember your own story or what's in front of you for that matter? Ironic considering you're a/the author. Summary > "You are a 14 year old boy-" is not [I] (1st person). That is someone else (author/narrator) telling the reader what they are. Chapter 1, second paragraph > "Everywhere you look-" (author/narrator) telling the reader where they are looking, again, is not 1st person POV, nor can it be described as 3rd person POV. It does get to 1st person POV once it gets to "Swole Solo-POV," but doesn't last since the POV eventually ends and defaults back in chapter 2. That only leaves me to assume how often it is and isn't read like a 1st person or reader-insert. If necessary, third person would be much better, saying the name of the MC instead of [you/you're].
Hey there. Some readers will only look at the tags to decide what they read.
Pokemon - Solo's Strange Journey
Video Games · BenisBoy14
Not just the tags, but the summary as well. Came across this a number of times, clicked on it, then skipped. Just now, went through it quickly with [Ctrl]+[F] search>(you). The summary represents itself as a reader-insert, and until it hits a first person POV, it reads by default as a reader-insert. I can't tell you enough how stupid and annoying I find reader inserts to be. Everyone is different and makes different choices, so reader-inserts just don't work unless it's a one-shot short story where your forced to make certain choices. Using/reading [you] to refer to yourself is just dumb and feels like someone else is telling you what to do. [I] just works well as both a self-insert and reader-insert, since it can be read as someone else referring to them self or the reader referring to them self. Really, if there are a few readers that are of the same mindset as the MC, it just works by default. Two birds with one stone. There's more I can complain about, but since this doesn't have the Y/N L/N stuff, I'll leave it at that.
Hey there. Some readers will only look at the tags to decide what they read.
Pokemon - Solo's Strange Journey
Video Games · BenisBoy14
Pretty sure it doesn't need to be on a different account to reupload it and can be on the same exact novel. Is there another reason it's going on a different account?
This book has been deleted.
Cool, may change my review later. As for [absolute mind], you could, y'know, make modifications to chapter 2 as well. Same for mentioning the [soul absorption] ability earlier. It's not abnormal for authors to take down all their current chapters when a rewrite is in the works as well, and quite frankly, for the best in terms of quality. That [soul absorption] thing definitely should be explained earlier rather than later as it's too much of a "WTF" for others to not bring up.
This book has been deleted.
Seriously, what is with this site and it's dislike towards [Enter] to space out paragraphs? I know you can't do it in the comment section, but I'm pretty sure I was able to do it in reviews, and seen others do it too. Heck, I've seen authors do it in the comment section. Actually, I've done it before. A weird on and off thing going on sometimes.
This book has been deleted.
Grammar could definitely use some work, but not bad enough to where it's easy to mentally auto correct. The first two chapters were great, but everything past that (currently 5 chapters excluding auxiliary) was terrible and needs a rewrite. The author has admitted to rushing, but that admission doesn't change the status quo. Rushing in the early stages especially is just overall bad for a story. There was absolutely no character development. Even if knowledge of their abilities were instilled into them (should have been more emphasized if that's the case), you'd still only expect the bare minimum and for there to be a few character development chapters on learning how to properly use them. But no, MC didn't do any of that. The [calm mind] part of the [absolute mind] also ruins character development and waters down any growing likeness towards said character. So there she was, spying so close to the Hidden Leaf walls near the gate and despite all her inexperience, wasn't found out. MC decides to use earphones during her first real fight. The author said to not take it to heart, but this isn't a comedy focused story. If it were, my thoughts on the matter would be different. If the author doesn't want to take their own story more seriously and more of a joke, why should the readers? It just hurts the story. Then there's the [soul absorption] ability. Where in the F did that come from!? this info was never conveyed to the readers. The [Singularity] ability is the only ability mentioned related to the soul, and it was not explained to work in such a way. An Otsutsuki ability? Chakura absorption, yeah, but that definitely isn't how it works. Quite frankly, it seems even more OP than Majin Buu's absorption ability, considering all you need is a touch. Again, a few character development chapters about the MC figuring out their abilities with some sort of explanations for the readers to work with would go a long way. This story had a lot of potential, but the rushing, [calm mind] and [soul absorption] ruined it. I especially think [soul absorption], a really easy path to power, would greatly shorten the life of most any story. The rushing also shows a lack of care. If the author did, they'd bite the bullet and not rush, at least to such an extent as they did. Really, despite all this, it's still interesting and I may continue reading, but it could have been much, much better if the first 2 chapters were anything to go by. Need to work on details more though and it'd be even better. Like subtle actions, expressions, and character appearance descriptions.
This book has been deleted.
Thanks for the chapter! Big improvement in paragraph length. (not being walls of text.) Just need to fix the issue with a lot of your words being mushed together. I suggest reviewing your chapters before posting to make sure all words are properly spaced out. Though it can still be fixed through editing as well.
ch 12 Places Call
Ken 17. A Halo Transmigration Tale
Video Games · MukomaTJ
Pretty much defeats the whole 'being restricted to 2 wishes' thing. Makes no sense. That extra energy has to come from somewhere if no recharge time is needed. But I guess that depends on the wishes that were previously made on whether it's plausible or not to reuse them a certain amount of times in a short period.
"Now I summon him again." I tell her.
Dragon Ball: Back in Black
Anime & Comics · OmniSpectra
You're running your sentences. Here's what it should be. ("It isn't what you think," I said. "Besides, she'll be leaving the town too. She said she's gonna complete the Pokedex or something along the lines of that.")
"It isn't what you think," I said, "Besides she'll be leaving the town too, she said she's gonna complete the Pokedex or something along the lines of that,"
Pokemon: Legends
Anime & Comics · Izana07
Considering most of the growth spurts in that area is done by age 15 before it turns into a crawl, no, it's not that big. Just about average or a little above average. Unless your asian. Should have at least went for 6 and a half inches, closing in on 7. I would count that as a common for big, but not "so big," compared to some other people. (yes, I researched for my own fanfic)
My little brother, over 5 inches long stood straight and proud. Even though I was so big, I was still a virgin so yeah.
Pokemon: Legends
Anime & Comics · Izana07
Convenient... To cover the lie he made before he knew he had the system... Awfully convenient...🤨
Alex had entered Pallet town and found that the System… or whoever reincarnated him had even given him a property in Pallet town.
Pokemon: Alex's New Life
Anime & Comics · Izana07
A neat throw-back to the pokemon games. Honestly though, would be better without the function that physically interact with the world. Like items from the [shop] popping out of nowhere and [inventory/sub-space] when you have Silph-Co bags and such.
Not only did it give him the Level of the Pokemon, but he could also get the ability, Hidden ability and it's move list.
Pokemon: Alex's New Life
Anime & Comics · Izana07
Seriously, what's up with authors nowadays making MCs that are compulsive liars when it's completely unnecessary? Especially lies that are easy to figure out. He should have just said that he has amnesia which would help him avoid a lot more unnecessary lying down the road. Just stupid. And why would he need verification for being in a town? He's not in a lab, within Oak's private poke-ranch, or some military base.
"Eh? I didn't say I don't know where I am, I just said I was lost," Alex said, "I'm a citizen from Pallet Town, you know, recently moved in and all,"
Pokemon: Alex's New Life
Anime & Comics · Izana07
No, just the one they were used to wish on. Why would said dragon balls commit suicide on the planets they were sent on? If they did survive, they would need to find a new planet to settle on. Then what? Repeat the process?
The only caveat was that those Dragon Balls dispersed to planets across the entire universe and if you didn't return them to the planet the last wish was made from in a year, the energy of the Black Star Balls would destroy each of the planets they were sent to.
Dragon Ball: Back in Black
Anime & Comics · OmniSpectra
Why copy the appearance of an existing dragon and not a new one? Surely you can at least find an image of a different dragon on the internet.
The image in my mind was clear as day and I create the model of the dragon that I wanted. Laying on the floor in front of us was a small model of the dragon who inhabited the Black Star Dragon Balls, Ultimate Shenron.
Dragon Ball: Back in Black
Anime & Comics · OmniSpectra
Why all the past tense? Is Mansam dead? "Marriage was" [is], "had his moments" [has], "always did have a knack" [had], "was a good partner" [is], "He had a way of keeping me grounded" [has], "made quite the pair" [make], etc.
Saiyan Primal Ascension
Anime & Comics · Iros