Negentropy - Profile

Glad someone started translating this I read a portion of the original but my Russian isn't great and Google translate is horrendous, looking forwards to updates, last translator dropped at Ch 16.

Honestly, it's quite good. The merger between your original creation and DxD is done quite organically, and the AU approach you have taken for devil society and general development is a breath of fresh air. Only comment I have is about the moment between Grayfia and Sirzechs, Richter in my taste reacted to softly, losing like 5, 10 affection and reconciling after 2 Ch in a situation that should have affected him alot more considering the past issues you have given him as well as the promises Grayfia made. Although the talk you did with her mother was great for Grayfias character development and self reflection, it shouldn't have been the catalyst to him forgiving her, Introspection isn't an excuse for actions that affect others. I guess we will see what you do with the second meeting. Altogether , fic I'm looking forward to seeing updates from you. Keep up the good work.

3/5 (Dropped at Ch 35) Obvious issues with grammar but author mentioned that and made a clear effort so it's fine, great start and potential based on Devil Fruit selection and future possibilities due to that. To much reliance on system for the story, lots of info dumping on system functions and grants to many boons. Systems are great for fics but putting everything on a silver platter can affect the story progression and the growth of your character, same as having to many functions ex. the crew cards. Lastly, and reason for dropping, presence of other reincarnator (Rindou food wars) as well as Multiverse items (Pokeball), the Black Pearl worked due to its functionality in the world environment but anything else is abit to much. Overall it is a decent fic, if you have no issues with what I mentioned I recommend you give it a try.

Interesting story and looking forward to seeing where you go with this, keep up the good work. Just a few points I wanted to address though: - The calling out his abilities before using them, but you already fixed that based on someone else's comment which is nice to see. - The movements before his actions, is that like a personal tic of his or something , because you mentioned specifically that he has psychokinesis and not telekinesis, the movements would make sense for telekinesis since he would be initiating or guiding the energy, but with psycho he is just using his brain, especially with parallel processing. - This one doesn't really matter, you have him do cardio with 2tons and then he is out of breath after 1 round in bed. - Lastly, and the main one, the way he uses his powers, you did mention he isn't in his prime so that would explain why he is more at a raw force stage than control stage, because with the 70-100 ton range you've given him dealing with homelander should take little to no effort but he kinda just pulls a Naruto by pushing and pulling instead of focalising his attacks. Ok rant thingy over, don't think I'm criticising btw I really like this fic just trying to point out a few things to see where author is trying to lead this into.