dabo1 - Profile

Definitely worth checking out. Has lots of potential

The start of the book was pretty good. You learn a lot of world-building, introduce everything, and then when you are hooked, you suddenly notice the writing quality take a massive hit. Looking back, I also notice all sorts of logic issues, that aren't really obvious when you read it first but later become obvious(e.g. how can all players communicate with their tutors the players have all sorts of different languages) and that is just one thing. Also, how do you hide the first earth mission from being linked to the game? Then there is also the law and god thing, why not just have a law to prevent the void from the start?

It's been a while since I read the story, so I can't remember exactly which races there are, but there were some introduced that were introduced and then never appeared again in any relevant way(e.g. Yggdrasilian Guardians). So it's not that I want more switching between perspectives, but the opposite. Like only show the race if they do something that will be relevant to the story in like the next ~20 or so chapters and you feel it isn't enough to just show it from Synthesis perspective. You get otherwise too many parallel actions to keep track of and break the flow of the story.

It starts good, but then it goes slowly towards "weird". The main issues are the parts where readers are directly addressed or societies get introduced only to then not be used for a long while. Would be better to only introduce them when they will appear more. Also maybe update the description of the story or tags. The story slowly develops in a direction that is no longer expected from it.

read only the first few chapters, then quit. Reason: computer science doesn't work that way. It just "hurts" to read due to that. Advanced programming knowledge or virus knowledge doesn't help you. Both books would need to contain programming languages and architectures that should be unique to earth, so the knowledge in a "galactic" book won't help much.

story development is ok, but the question is, why do people get beasts? In the military, it would make sense, but something like beasts for "normal" people doesn't make sense, they gain no real advantages, only disadvantages(food cost, maintenance, etc). Also, why are beast appraisers so well perceived, wouldn't it make more sense to just mass-breed beasts so you already know pretty much every relevant info?

The story description doesn't fit the story at all. The characters are exaggerated. The world is also exaggerated and wouldn't develop in this way (e.g. superhuman feats exist but somehow nearly no one knows, but they are still common).

Nice story and worlds building, although sometimes some actions might be contradictory to the character description of being cautious, but hey they still somehow fit good into the story and make it better